I once saw a church in Italy that had its interior completely covered in mosaics. The tiny, multicolored bits of stone were placed together to create a rich and beautiful work of art that was overwhelming in its intricacies. Scenes and stories from the Bible were brought to light, while men and women of God came to life through thousands and thousands of broken pieces of tesserae.
The last few weeks have been ones of illumination and revelation about who I am in Christ, the wayward fragments of my heart, and where He is leading me. To begin with, I have stepped into a new season of prayer and the gift of speaking in tongues. I find myself at the end of my own words so often, and finally my heart just began to cry out to God what my mouth could not express. And out of the cry of my heart, my voice began to speak.
It looks so different than I thought it would. This new season came in a time of feeling so unable to articulate my thoughts to the Father, feeling as though my prayers hit the ceiling of the room and evaporated into thin air, never to be heard again. I felt like I was unable to communicate with the Lord, but longed to speak what was in my spirit, and so draw closer to Him. He has answered my prayers for intimacy in a way I never expected.
I picture myself standing in the middle of a bare room, while all around me lays shattered, broken, and jagged fragments of different colored pieces of rock, stone and glass. All I can think is, “Why is He here in this mess?” The brokenness of my heart, the inability to stand in my own strength and move forward, and the absolute mess I’ve made through my own efforts has caused me to stop and survey the damage. And I’ve realized that I can never make something beautiful out of myself.
In the middle of that desolation is the Voice that says, “You see all this wreckage? Each individual piece is the exact perfect shape for me to create something beautiful. They fit together into a beautiful masterpiece where the jagged edge of your brokenness fits perfectly with My love, grace, and mercy.” I feel overwhelmed by the presence of the Spirit in my life right now, by His comfort and reassurance that He is working to create a work of art out of my life. So I relinquish the pieces to the Master, trusting that each shard will be placed perfectly according to His will and purpose.
I am that mosaic.
"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
