Well it's been over 3 months since I recieved the phone call that has changed my life. When the nice lady on the other end of the line told me I was accepted onto the World Race, I was so overwhelmed with a flood of emotions. There were tears and there was uncontainable laughter brought on by so much joy at the thought of God's unfolding plan. I can't even explain the excitement that I felt. God had been giving me hints my whole life that He had a plan to send me to the nations of the world and the "HOW" had just been revealed!
Now, months later, I am still certain as ever that God has orchestrated this beautiful plan. However, just being honest, preparing for this journey is just as much a journey in itself as the one I'm leaving for in September.
For a while, after being accepted, I spent lots of time striving and making lists in my head of things that I wanted to make sure I do before I leave. I was afraid of not being ready emotionally, physically, or spiritually. I thought if I didn't do everything I possibly could to prepare, than I wouldn't have as big of an impact on the race. This only created anxiety and unhealthy, unreachable expectations. Not good, right? Well, God is a SUPER father and doesn't get mad at me when I try to do things on my own strength or when I work myself into a frenzy. He simply draws me back to Himself and speaks the truth that confronts the lie and restores peace to my soul. It's taken a long time but my thought-life has been changing in this new season of preparation. I have begun to "come to the end of myself" every time I think of how BIG HE IS! He has my attention. And this is how He has me preparing for the race…
REST. Resting is something that years of striving and expectations has kept me from. I'm talking about resting in a spiritual, emotional, AND physical way. Just sitting quietly in His presence and letting Him remove my anxieties and fears, changes the whole direction of my day.
RECIEVE. Recieve from Him but also recieve from others. It's always been hard for me to ask people for things or for help in the first place. So, the topic of fundraising was pretty scary at first, if you can imagine. Recieving has been a challenge as well. But I've been learning that I'm in the body of Christ and He wants us to give to eachother. Sometimes not recieving from others denies blessing from from myself AND the person wanting to bless me. I've been learning that recieving is simple and I find myself DEEPLY encouraged with every gift I recieve.
OBEDIENCE. When it comes to all those things I wanted to do before the race, well, I left them at His feet. At the start of the day, I've learned to ask, "What do YOU want me to do today?". Sometimes, He tells me to rest. Other times He tells me to write a thank you note or set up a meeting with someone. I gotta be honest, sometimes I am not obedient. There are times when I want my will more than His. But, like I said, He always forgives and always draws me back into Him. So, my aim is that when He says to move, then I'll move. If He says to sit still and be in His presence (which I hear more than ANYTHING else) than that's what I'll do. Surrender is key. Obedience is key.
So, that's my TO DO list. That's how I intend on preparing for 11 countries in 11 months. Where there is no striving, there is absolute peace, and that's where I shall remain.
