God is teaching me a whole new meaning to "living one day at a time". It's amazing that His mercies are new each morning and His grace enough to get through just one day.
I used to think waiting on the Lord required me to tear my clothes, put on sackcloth with ash on my head and pray. But over the past two months I've been dealing with the very real possibility of being evicted and God has taught me that there will always be a trial, a challenge to overcome and another battle to fight. If I decide to wait on the Lord as in mourning waiting for life to be all sunshine and roses I'm gonna be in mourning my entire life!
Yes we will have seasons of joy, but more commonly we will have seasons of doubt, trail and unpleasant circumstances. I used to think that doing life well as a believer meant that life would become easier and blessings would flow from the mountaintops. Now I realize it's more like the GMAT Computer Adaptive Test which literally gets more difficult the more questions you get correct. If you start getting easy questions, you're in trouble! It means you're doing it wrong. I now understand this Christian walk to be the same way. If my life is easy, I'm in trouble! But since things are getting progressively worse, that must mean I'm doing something right!! 🙂
Now don't be fooled is discouraged–this doesn't mean that God isn't taking care of me. He is showering me with blessings each day, mercies and grace anew and maturing me moment by miserable moment 🙂 Things that used to bother me don't even make the radar now—scorpions, bed bugs, eviction, being fired, break ups—I groan over them, but I count them all as spiritual tests and I KNOW that trouble will come. Now instead of trying to avoid it or praying God will keep me from it I embrace it and use it to draw nearer to God and keep me in a place of brokenness.
The blessings flow from the mountaintop indeed, but instead of blessings like I'd imagined (being married, having kids, having a great career, driving a nice car, having a nice bank account) they come in a different form, a form that more realistically allows me to behold the face of the Almighty (fearlessness in the midst of eviction, trust despite all logic, love/time with my bridegroom, freedom from worldly bondage).
I am more blessed than I could have ever hoped or imagined, and each day God is blessing me more and more! Today as I awaited the verdict of the judge over our eviction trial I decided to go to the lake and ride wave runners—much more fun than sitting in sackcloth and ash mourning!
So, as the judge has not yet giving his ruling today, I have a stay of execution for one more day. He has given me strength for today and hope for tomorrow. He cares about the most intimate details of our lives, like me losing my cell phone at the mall last night. That's an hour of prayer I was sure not to fall asleep to! And praise to God not only did He allow me to have my phone back, but also meet and exceed my July 1 deadline for The World Race!! I am now 24% funded.
God is good.
All of the time!
