My team and I met the Pastor and journeyed in the little red van the “less than two hour” ride to an estate to do children’s ministry. We had gotten rather used to our lengthy van rides around Kelantan, Malaysia and grown to enjoy them as a time for quiet and personal reflection and worship.
Upon arriving at the estate the children began filing into the hall and we headed out behind the building to play games with the kids. We fit in well with the kids kicking balls, swinging kids, and playing a new version of duck-duck-goose (running all the way around the building several times).
After a while of playing games and having fun we rounded up the kids and taught them a few songs and told them the story of Zacchaeus.
Then we handed out snacks and resumed playtime! I made friends with a beautiful little girl, and after exhausting all of her English I wanted to show her some love via my love language of gifts. I dug through my purse for a piece of candy or something to give her and found nothing. Then I came across some USD coins. I pulled them out and showed them to her. Then I gave her a quarter from America as a souvenir. Then two more kids came over and wanted coins. I opened my hand to let them pick which coins they wanted and it was a mad grab. Then more kids came over and I quickly realized this was getting out of hand. There were more kids than coins, and I knew I was in trouble.
One child asked for a dollar bill, and so I gave him one. He was proudly displaying it and the other kids wanted one as well. I then heard the Pastor yell, “Unauthorized Money Changing!” I felt horrible. My smile was gone, and I felt super guilty. A few minutes later children were coming up and asking me for dollars and coins. My heart broke a little more each time I told them, “Sorry, no I don’t have any more”.
The Pastor came over and explained to me that the children were now jealous of one another and the ones who didn’t get any were very upset. The ones who had received a coin or dollar were even trying to get the pastor to exchange it into ringets. My idea of giving them a souvenir to cherish went out window as these poverty stricken children thought they had just cashed in.
My big heart created a big mess! I quickly rounded the building before I burst into tears. I wanted to be Jesus to these kids, not create strife and be a stumbling block to them. The Pastor came over with several kids in tow. They saw me crying and the pastor began telling them why I was sad. He explained that I was trying to love them,, but just hadn’t thought about not having enough for everyone. Their hearts were touched, and they felt so ashamed for how they had acted. One of the girls reached in her pocket and gave me a 50 cent ringet coin. She wanted to make me feel better. They hugged me and held my hand and walked with me to the front of the building.
I am so thankful God uses the messes I create for His glory. He turned my mess into a message. The message of Christ coming into the world. The children didn’t understand the value of the coins and dollars, just like many don’t understand the value of Christ’s sacrifice for us. Jesus came to give us life to the max and we are fighting over physical blessings and completely missing the point.
When you strive for the physical things and get jealous of those who have more than you, the Lord is saddened that you are focusing on the gifts instead of the Giver. So think long and hard about what Christ’s sacrifice on the cross actually gave you. Are you fighting over a quarter?
