“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” –Nelson Mandela
I am not the same person I was a year ago. I don’t view things in the same manner. I don’t have the same dreams I once had. And the things I used find joy and pleasure in just don’t satisfy anymore.
Instead, my heart spends its free time longing for things of the Kingdom. To be immersed in community again. To be surrounded by a body of believers who know who they are as sons and daughters of the King and won’t stand for anything less than the freedom that is already theirs.
Throughout the Race, I could put my finger on some key things that I could definitely see the Lord working on and changing in me. It wasn’t until I got home, however, that I began to realize the full extent of how much my experiences on the Race changed me.
And it has been such a source of contention. Because it doesn’t sit well with parents and family when you tell them that a 9-5 job isn’t in your immediate future or plan for your life. That instead, you want to pursue an a “career” path that will push you to deeper levels of freedom in Christ. An environment that will give God room to continue working out this new thing He has began in you.
It is foolishness to the world to willingly enter into another season of “begging people for money,” because you believe that the Lord is calling you to a ministry that requires you to once again raise money for support. It is foolishness to the world to be almost 25, unemployed, unmarried and not looking for either a job or someone to spend the rest of your life with.
But I don’t want the American dream. Instead, something so much bigger has been stirring inside of my heart. And at the end of my life, I want it to be said of me that I gave everything I had to the Lord. That I withheld nothing from Him. That I spent my whole life completely sold out for the Kingdom. That I went for broke. Because nothing else in this world matters outside of God. Nothing else is more important or even comes close to being greater than seeing His Kingdom established in the Earth.
So, that’s what I want for my life. And that’s what I want for my children. I want them to be filled with dreams and visions of the Kingdom. I want them to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. To heal the sick and raise the dead. To speak up against injustice and fight for freedom on behalf of the captives. I want them to “stand at the gates of hell and redirect traffic.”
So, for those of you who have been asking or wondering, no, I don’t know how I’m getting to Florida. I don’t know how it’s all going to work out. I don’t know the logistics of it all and I have no idea what the Lord is doing during this transition period. But I know that Beauty From Ashes Ministries is where the Lord is calling me. That God’s call and plan for my life has not changed.
So, yes, the World Race is over and that door has closed. But until the door for me to begin my internship with Beauty From Ashes opens, I will be faithful to praise Him in the hallway.
