My nephew Malachi James was born on March 7, 2014 at 25 wks.
His journey has taught me so much this month. March has been a very hard month for me emotionally.
I’ve had to cry out to God in a way I have never before.
When you have to cry out to God to save a life of a loved one it changes they way you pray and for me it has changed my level of intimacy with the Father.
I remember my sister Jamie sent me a message and told me she was going to have to be hospitalized until Malachi came in 4 months.
Immediately I began to hurt,
I began to cry in the inside,
I got angry,
I got sad
My emotions went through the roof.
I wanted to go home!!
I didn’t want my brothers wife Jamie to be going through this. I also knew my brother was at home with a two year old and I wanted to be there for them and help in anyway I could.
See God has taught me new things about ministry this year, and he has grown in me the importance of family and how they are too part of Gods ministry he has for us.
Yet in that , I prayed and God kept saying to me:
“LaShon you are where you are suppose to be,”
“He has my family”
I released those emotions to God.
It was a process, of crying out to God and being super vulnerable with him and telling him exactly what I needed to say.
Then a few days later I get a message and my sister was having complications was going in for emergency surgery.
They need to deliver Malachi.
My heart dropped.
“God he is only 25 weeks! “
“No, what is going on?!?”
” Look God, we talked about this, you told me you had this situation. You said I needed to stay on the field and things would be ok. “
I called my parents and I just began sobbing.
It hurt to be here in Bulgaria and not with my family.
It hurt that my brother and sister where dealing with this and I couldn’t be there to cry with them, and love them and be strong for them through this.
My momma knows her girl and she knew I was breaking.
During our call she just stopped and started praying over me, she prayed over this whole situation.
She spoke to the exact thoughts of fear, unhealthy sadness and spirit of despair, and depression that was creeping into my spirit.
And for about 5 minutes as I cried, she just sang over me this sweet old hymn:
Peace, peace wonderful peace, coming down from the father above. Sweep over LaShon’s spirit forever, I pray In fathomless billows of love.
1 lesson I have learned from my nephew is:
There is strength in vulnerability!
See I’m a very private person with my emotions. The race has taught me, that people want to be let into my life.
In community those God has in your life on the race love you as well, and they want to be there for us.
I know I have the ability, to love well, I can sit in trenches and fight with people, I can also climb to the mountains tops and cheer on victories in others. Gods given me this gift and I see it as a honor and a kingdom responsibility.
Yet there is another responsibility I have, when its my time to feel and hurt I need to let others know this.
I usually go to my private place and deal. So in this situation more then ever before God is teaching me to let others in.
Allow them to hurt with me and carry some of the load.
Letting them just love on me and care for me during those hard times.
Thank you Malachi for teaching me to be vulnerable…
To date Chi is a little over a week old. Praise Jesus!
My nephew is tiny right now but he is a warrior and he is strong!
He has up and down days, yet to date Malachi is stable and will need continual prayer during this season.
Malachi means “Gods messenger” He has already been an powerful ambassador of Gods desire for truth, vulnerability, and intimacy in my life.
Continue in my journey of lessons I’ve learned from Baby Malachi while on the field … Part 2 is coming soon.
