B-Squad was flung into team changes once again.
On July 26 the Team Leaders were gathered in a circle in Ho Chi Minh airport, a few hours before our flight to Ireland. Abby – a capable, gentle leader who managed several difficult situations these past 3 months – was first to speak. She informed us of her resignation from leading.
And we were all secretly envious.
Her relief was tangible. An unmistakable weight had vanished from her shoulders, leaving her grinning and bouncing as she talked. She bid goodbye to our circle and rejoined the rest of the squad, now simply a regular Racer. Carefree.
We turned our attention back to the circle. The Squad Leaders said, “We’d like to invite each of you to continue as Team Leaders. Do you accept?” One by one, we went around the circle, and answered yes.
A lot of us in that circle couldn’t think why we’d been asked to continue. By that point, we were in the most difficult months on the Race – also making team leading that much more difficult. By that point, we were all painfully aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings.
By that point, we’d all failed somehow.
There are lots of perks to Team Leading that make it seem like an enviable position. You get the snazzy title. You take time out of ministry to sit in cozy coffee shops and get administrative work done. The wonderful folks at the AIM office call you up periodically to check in and support you. You have the final say in team decisions. You often receive information before the rest of the squad (and information is a hot commodity on the World Race).
But you’re also the first one responsible for handling the countless issues that arise. There are the everyday things… like when, on your first day of ministry, all you’re told is what bus to take to get to the Vietnamese orphanage. You arrive by yourselves, are greeted by a stranger, sit down in front of the kids and ask, “So, what are we doing today?”
“Teach.”
“…Ahh. Hmm. Ok. Teach English?”
“Yes. …and maybe next time it’d be better for you to have a lesson plan before you come.”
(Yes, thankfully next time we’ll know that’s what we’re coming here to do…)
Or what do you do for your team when you arrive in your tiny Indian village, and discover that toilet paper isn’t a thing there? And the one store that sells napkins – which is already 20mins from home – is closed? Awesome. Thankfully I wasn’t TL back then. Poor Doug.
But there are also tougher things. Miscommunication and conflicts with ministry hosts. Accidents and medical emergencies. Serious conflict amongst your teammates. Racers that check-out, don’t want to be here, want to go home. Disagreements with leadership and the AIM office. Always being alert, always taking initiative, always being on the job.
You have people’s well-being on your shoulders. And it’s weighty, and it’s exhausting.
Which brings me to the biggest lesson I’ve learned as a team leader.
My little teamy team – me, Tyler, Stephanie, Cody, Melissa, & Ali
I’ve never been very good at trusting God to take care of other people.
After years of praying for close friends who were suffering: He’s never going to step in and help them, is He?
This thought still secretly lurked in the back of my mind as I began team leading.
And at the beginning, I definitely resembled a mother hen. When you see a teammate falling apart, how can you stand it?! How can you not step in and do everything you can to alleviate their misery?
I didn’t trust God to actually help in their suffering… still.
And then I heard this at the end of Month 7:
“People deserve the dignity of their own struggle.”
– Audra, and probably Alys, and probably some other similarly wise person
Shoot. This is serious. If people on my team are struggling, and I take on that burden for them, I’m actually hindering them. I’m just enabling them to stay exactly where they are. I’m stunting growth. But if I stay back – where I belong – I’m not in the way of what God is doing.
Why do I think He doesn’t see? Why do I think He’s not going to teach them and equip them to make it through, the way He has for me?
Team leading has given me the chance to learn that – how to release other people (and their burdens) to God. And I’m learning my role in the middle of that. Instead of taking that burden away, I need to strengthen and encourage people in their struggle.
But it’s theirs to own and overcome.
B-Squad at the beginning of Month 9 – Romania
In this blog, I wanted to set the record straight – team leading is not the prestigious, elite little club of our World Race bubble. This role challenges everyone.
But I’ve come to love challenge.
Stay tuned for part 2!
