Classify me as an extremist. It’s
probably an accurate classification. However, what I am learning is
it’s actually in all of our DNA to jump from one black square to a
white one, only to find ourselves jumping back to the black… before
returning to the white.
As I began to notice this all-too-prevalent trend, I wondered why it was so easy to go from one extreme
to the other. I was an all or nothing gal. I either spent ample
times with the Lord, or I completely neglected Him. I either really,
really loved you… or, I didn’t. It’s easy to go black and white with
certain issues in our world: alcohol, for instance. Tithing that
20%… not a dime more or less.
I dare say that this “black and
white� style of living has robbed us of the Spirit. If I live in
the black, I know exactly how to live. If I live in the white, I
know exactly how to live. I know what to do. What not to do. It’s
clear. It’s defined.
But what about that gray? What about
the in between? What about where we have no rules? No boundaries?
No definition of what is right and what is wrong? Why is it so
uncomfortable to live there?
It requires dependency. Not on
ourselves. Not on a clearly defined outline. Instead, it requires
walking in the spirit on a moment to moment basis. It requires not
acting on our emotions, on our flesh, on what we know. Rather,
listening to the sweet sound of the spirit leading you… and
following that voice.
Then listening again.
Then following.
And
listening as you follow.
It’s continual. It takes active effort.
It’s not easy. It requires more of us. More than the “check list” we are supposed to follow.
I am learning what it means to depend solely on the Holy Spirit. It’s a beautiful thing to learn. Sometimes I feel lost in this land of
gray. But one thing is for sure… it’s where I depend on Him the
most. I have to. I’ll get lost if I don’t.
