I haven’t blogged in a while.
Partly because I’ve been so crazy busy with my semester ending, finals, and graduation fast approaching. And partly because I didn’t think I had much to say. But now that I am sitting down to write this, things that I should share are just pouring out of me like flood waters.
So first and foremost, lets just talk about how amazing God is. Go ahead, look outside. See those green blades of grass poking up out of the ground? See the flowers blooming, new ones every day? Feel that warm air on your skin? Ahh, its spring, folks! And Gods timing is seriously perfect. I love every season pretty much equally. In winter I can be quoted as saying things like “I love snow!” or “Wow the snow is so beautiful!”… In spring, “Look at the daisies!” or “The trees are finally getting green again!”…. Summer – “Look at how blue the sky is!” or “Lets go ____(Insert Fun Summer Activity here)_____” and in Autumn, I can be caught saying “I love how colorful Fall is!” or “I love the cozy clothes you get to wear in Fall.”
Truth is, I have affairs with seasons. But I love them all equally. However, the weather out here just didn’t want to let go of old man Winter and I was getting a bit sick of the cold. And now that finals are over and I get some free time…wouldn’t it be the perfect time for God to just make it super beautiful and nice out?! And he did! Not while I had to study, not while I had to write papers or essays or read books. Nope, when I am finally free to enjoy it, he makes sure I have something wonderful to enjoy. God is good!
So about a week ago, I held my first fundraiser. I planned, designed and built over 20 games for a kids carnival. And when I say I, I mean my friend Joey, the maintenance staff at my college, my family and friends, my team of helpers who are seriously awesome! Lets just talk about them for a second… Ya see, when I get my mind set on something, I’m kind of hard to talk down off the ledge of my idea. I will jump in with both feet to test the water. I’m THAT girl. But my boss told me that usually when I do this, everyone else is standing up at the top ready with their mountain scaling equipment, ready to jump in after me and save me. This, friends, is why God puts people into our lives. Because when we try to plan a kids carnival for the last week of classes, right before finals, right before graduation when you work full time… you need people who will jump in after you! I am so thankful to have so many mountain climber and jumpers around me.
In any event, here are a few pictures from the carnival… (Pictures taken by parents and Howard Owens of the Batavian) The first was a few kids playing at the sports center game, where they had to throw either a frisbee or a football through different holes. The next is a picture of a few kids with my wonderful clown helper in front of our life sized angry birds game. And the last is an intense game of tug-a-war! I believe one of my friends who was running this event was actually against the girl in this picture, and the girl in the picture totally beat her! I had people helping me out who were such great sports about everything!
The event went great. Smoother than I expected, smoother than most expected and it was all God. It just would not have worked without him. He continues to surprise me, every day and I am so grateful for that! I was so worried I would put so much work into this carnival and nothing would happen, no one would come and I would have wasted everyone’s time. But God is infinitely more prepared for my fundraising than I am, and he will guide me.
Last, but not least. God showed me today how important it is to rely on him. Ya know when something becomes a habit, that you don’t really realize how much you need it? Lets say, wearing deodorant. You put it on every day. You don’t even really think about it, you just know that in middle school, your parents and teachers had talks with you and your classmates about personal hygiene and you know you should do it so you don’t smell. Well, lets say you forget one day. And you stink! And people don’t even want to be around you. Then… Lightbulb! You realize you forgot to put deodorant on this morning! Lesson learned, right? Well, I had a lesson from God today. My friend Joey, basically since my first test at GCC, taught me that I should pray before hand. He said I should ask God for the knowledge I need and the peace I need to make it through the exam, if it is his will. I’ve basically prayed that prayer every single test since then. And ya know what… I’ve aced practically every test I’ve taken over these last 2 years of college. Even in things like Chemistry and Human Biology… Which I could never ace before! God is good like that! Well, today I had my statistics final. And I didn’t pray. At all. I just went in there, sat down and did the very best I could…of my own power.
Wanna know what happened?
I felt like I didn’t know how to solve any of the problems? Solve for P? What does P even stand for again? What is Z*? What is a critical value? I was lost. Completely lot. And to top it all off, once I finished my exam, I felt lightheaded, dizzy and sick to my stomach. I felt like I couldn’t breathe normally, and there was a brick inside of my head pushing my eyeballs out. It was an insanely weird experience, one I’d never like to feel again! I could hardly walk, but somehow made it outside where I sat in the beautiful spring air. In fact, I actually found my way to where I sat for my first ever anxiety attack at GCC. There, with Joey as my witness, God made it start snowing in 60 degree weather while I was crying, just to make me smile and realize that he was in control.
I eventually felt better and didn’t faint. But my brain was all worked out and I ended up with a migraine that made work that night pretty unbearable. God’s peace, that would normally comfort me in an exam, wasn’t there. God’s wisdom, that would fill the gaps in my knowledge for exams, wasn’t there. I did the whole test relying on my own strength, my own wisdom and not on Gods. And boy oh boy did my brain and body feel that! It may seem far-fetched to you, but if you felt how I felt, and knew the peace I normally have after exams, you’d understand. In statistics, a pretty rough class, I would leave exams with a 104, a 107 or high 90s… I never, ever in a million years would have gotten even close to an A in a math class in high school. God’s wisdom truly graced me throughout my years at GCC. And I never knew how much I used it, relied on it or appreciated it until my final today.
Needless to say, I will never make that mistake again. Relying on God is so much more relaxing, stress relieving and comforting than trying to do everything with my own strength. God leads us where he want us to go. He’ll provide us with whatever words, knowledge, peace and/or strength we need to get there. Even if that means putting awesomely helpful people in out lives, or guiding our brains through statistics tests, Gods ways are so good!
You should stop. Think. What sort of things do you rely on God for and don’t even realize you rely on Him for? Do you even know what it would feel like or look like to not rely on Him? Do you thank Him for those things? Because, trust me, you don’t ever want to be without them, especially when you never realized how much they meant to you in the first place!
Thank God for everything. Because without him, you’d have absolutely nothing. You wouldn’t even been here.
And if God is doing so many wonderful things for just me, little ole’ me, then he must be doing miraculous things for other people too! I can hardly make it through 18 hours of a day without needing some serious sleep. I am not the typical college kid pulling all-nighters and pounding energy drinks. I need my sleep. But God, there is just now way! I don’t know how he could ever find time to sleep! There are so many people in need of so much, that God must not sleep. And unlike me, he clearly doesn’t grow grumpy or cranky when he hasn’t slept, because he is always good and his love is never-ending.
My God is an awesome, tireless God. <3
Dear God, thank you for your infinite wisdom, kindness, mercy, love and comfort! Thank you that you know my needs more than I do, that you prepare me and prep me for upcoming struggles. Thank you for putting people into my life that are willing to dive into the unknown with me if it means I am following your plan. And thank you, God, for being my guiding light in this world of darkness. I don’t know how I ever did this life by my own strength. You had to have been there, even when I didn’t know. There is just no other explanation. You have always been there, God, and you always will be. Thank you for the lessons you teach, the people you place in our lives and the love and comfort you generously give out. You are so good, God. So wonderful and true. Thank you. Amen.
