Hello <3
First of all, I would like to say thank you to everyone who has been by my side throughout this journey so far. Its been fairly roller coaster like, with ups and downs but I have hope. And my hope comes from Jesus. God will never lead me somewhere where he will not provide for me, where he will not protect me as I rely fully on him! His power is perfected in my weaknesses. But here’s the thing… if I hold so tightly to doing things my way, within my own power, God loves me…and he will let me try it. God made me and boy-oh-boy does he know how stubborn I am. He knows how thick my head can be sometimes. So I may have been banging my head up against the same wall a time or two, (figuratively speaking. I have not been banging my head into the wall, don’t worry!) but God is still standing right there waiting for me to turn to him. Sometimes I wonder if he finds it comical, like when you pull on a push door, or painful, like when that bird flies into the door in the Windex commercials…
In any event!
God loves me. And he has been patient to wait for me to turn to him. He has no moral flaws, so he is more patient than we can think possible! I love my God. He is an amazing friend. What a friend we have in Jesus! <3
I kind of broke down recently because I have been so stressed. I have hit every closed door imaginable. My town does not want to allow me to do fundraisers, businesses won’t allow me to advertise because it is a “religious trip” and even people close to me have dragged me down with words that are less than encouraging about my trip. I hit a breaking point. And when I say I hit it…imagine a baseball star sliding into home base, but then suddenly the earth opens up and he falls 600 feet onto solid pavement. It was a painful, sudden breaking point.
So my prayer request is this…
Please pray for God to grant me peace throughout this fundraising process.
Please pray that I stop trying to do everything within my own strength and on my own timeline. In my mind, I know that God is in control, but sometimes my actions and my over thinking brain kind of go against that.
Please also pray that the doors I have been constantly finding close may start to open, maybe in ways I don’t even think possible. Because God is just that good!
Please pray for the hearts of family members and friends to be opened to this trip and be accepting of the call God has placed in my life.
And please also pray for Gods will in and throughout this trip. God has confirmed this trip to me every time I ask. Every time I doubt, God is right there with another way, another reminder… its like he is saying, “I know your doubting again, here is a new way I’ll prove to you that you are supposed to be going…” But even though God’s hand is guiding me on this trip, there is still a lot He is teaching me through this time of preparation…not just money wise or gear wise…but my heart, my soul, my body… He is pretty busy with the work he has to do to prepare me. So please pray that I step aside and let His will be done.
So please pray for peace, for me humbly letting go of my need for control, for doors to open (or even a window, a port hole, a screen, ya know…whatever God wants to open!), for hearts to be opened and softened towards my trip in all regards and for God’s will to reign throughout every element of this trip.
I am also probably not the only person on my squad facing some of these challenges. Please consider praying over everyone on my squad, those on other squads and those already out in the field who may be facing sickness, homesickness, exhaustion, persecution or anything else they may be encountering. There are also squads returning soon that will be facing culture shock coming back into America. Please lift them up in prayer as well and as much as you think of it.
Prayer is so powerful! <3
God is so good! <3
I appreciate every single one of you.
God Bless you and thank you for reading. <3
