“He is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name.” Acts 9:15
“Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord” 2 Corinthians 6:17
dealing with loss is really hard. it’s one of those life lessons that you will continually work on throughout your life. losing someone breaks your heart, takes your breath away, fills you with mixed emotions, leaves you speechless at times and sometimes makes you angry. you want to know why. sometimes you feel like something is wrong with you. it’s what we make of the lesson that counts. we can choose to be angry, disappointed, hurt and build walls around our heart and keep people out or we can embrace the change, learn from the heartache, move past the pain and grow.
i recently went through a divorce. my husband and i were married for 3 years. he chose his career over his marriage. how do you not take that personally? i often think to myself, “lacey, you are a beautiful, young and charismatic woman. why do people keep choosing other things or people over you? what’s really wrong with you? are you too difficult? high maintenance? clingy? or is the vision you have of yourself just distorted and you are all wrong about who you really are?”
God is teaching me a lot about self worth and who i am to Him. He is revealing things to me not just through the struggles i deal with from my divorce, but from the loss of a friend as well. i lost my friend through change, not through death eventhough i feel like a part of me has died. i’m learning a lot about myself, about the people i surround myself with and most importantly about God. i recently finished the book “come away my beloved” by frances j. roberts. it’s almost as if God sent this book just for me. this passage speaks volumes to me:
“you are never one of many to Me. you are precious and dear to My heart, yes, even as a very special treasure. for i love you more than you can ever comprehend, and i long to gather you in My embrace and hold you close to My heart. do not hold Me at arm’s length because you have a sense of unworthiness. have you not read that the redeemed are brought near by the blood of Christ? your sins are not covered; they are washed away! they are not only forgiven; they are forgotten! don’t hold back My love.”
this is who i am to Him. no matter how small someone makes me feel, i know that i have worth and that God created me for a very special purpose. maybe God is taking people out of my life to make room for just Him?
“i have special expeditionary forces, and what if i have called you to join these ranks? do not look for the company of many others. much of the wat you shall go entirely alone except for My presence.” – come away my beloved
