I'm sitting alone in my favorite place in the entire world, listening to Kathryn Scott's Satisfy CD, and thinking about so many different things, really.
(1) This time next year, I might have a new favorite place in the world. 🙂
(2) I am so thankful for everything that God has given me…has laid out before me. There is truly nothing like this. I am overwhelmed by His goodness and the way that He has changed me, healed me, brought freedom.
(3) Security.
Let me explain…
Over the last several months, God has been teaching me a lot about security. Through this process, I have begun to understand that we are all begging for something and sometimes, that thing we are begging for has been a part of us for so long, we don't even realize that it is there. Let me clarify; us begging for something isn't necessarily a bad thing. What determines if the begging is positive or negative is who we are looking to to fill that need. Looking in the right place for whatever you are begging for is called security. Security is knowing the only one who can fill your need and going to that ONE. Jesus is the ONE!
As most of us know, security is a lot easier said than done. I am learning that insecurity is an act. It is not something that you are. We choose to go to the wrong place to fill our needs. Insecurity is begging for something from a person, a thing, or an act in order to satisfy our deepest or even not so deep desires.
I must confess, the thing that I have been begging for more than anything is love. Quite obviously, love is a normal human desire; however, there is a gaping hole in each and every one of us that cannot be filled by human love. I have spent most of my life searching for love, begging for love in the wrong places. This sort of lifestyle has led to many more holes and broken places that cannot be filled or mended by human love. So, the remedy for these things is to choose security, to choose Jesus and let Him love you in ways that will make even the places that can be filled by human love overflow. Choosing security in Jesus makes human love even more wonderful. It makes life even more fulfilling. Choosing security in Jesus brings joy and more than anything, choosing security in Jesus brings LOVE, because God is LOVE.
Another thing that choosing security in Jesus brings is beauty. As a woman, another one of things that I most struggle with is begging for beauty. We are daily suffocated by images, ideas, words, etc. that tell us what beauty is, no, that LIE to us about what beauty is. Because of these things, we begin to find false security. We hide behind masks of caked on makeup and body shapers that we wear in hopes that we will finally be beautiful. Without them we are not enough and yet all at the same time, we are too much. We are not pretty enough, blonde enough, have strait enough teeth…and then we have too much acne, our hair is too curly or too flat, our bodies are too flabby or too bony! Nothing we do can satisfy our desire for beauty, because our views of what beauty is are completely skewed. Beauty is finding your security in Christ. It is claiming who you really are and living confidently as that person, rather than trying to always be like someone else. Scripture tells us that we are made in the image of God; claiming our security in being created by Him is what makes us beautiful.
So many of our security issues come from false beliefs. As stated above, we continually go to other things, begging them for whatever we desire. This begging and allowing them to "fill" us is what causes insecurity. Once again, we are not insecure. We choose insecurity.
And so, one of the most important things that I'm learning is how essential falling on my knees is…offering all of me, surrendering all of my broken pieces…arms open wide. It is in these moments that I trade my ashes in for beauty, wearing forgiveness like a crown. It is on my knees that I lay every burden down, name all of the false securities that I have been "begging toward," asking Jesus to be my security, because like said, security in Christ is what gives you EVERYTHING that you have been begging for.
So, I'll end here with asking: "What are you begging for? Where are your eyes?"
I pray that whatever your answer is to the first question, that your answer to second would always be, "my eyes are turned upon Jesus!"
