What else can I say?

Huh. 

Something just occurred to me.  I guess it’s been slowly sneaking up on me over the past several weeks, but it’s just taken a while to really “settle in.â€�

My life will never be the same.

I know this probably seems pretty obvious, but it’s just now hitting me. Gripping me. 

For better or for worse, I have little to no control over the next year of my life and where God takes me.  Sure I have a choice…I can be obedient or not.  I can choose to follow or not.  That is always our choice.  But in reality, I have been uprooted.  The safe, stable life I have always known is becoming a thing of the past.  My grip & control on the world around me is weakening, along with my desire to control it.  Along with the lie that I ever held any control in the first place.  And suddenly, going back is just not an option.

I’m surrendered.

Even if I wanted to turn back, I don’t think the world would ever taste the same.  I don’t think it would ever look the same.  Something has gotten ahold of me.   Something in the faces of those African children, the ones I’ve only ever seen from a small TV screen, but whose faces shone with a hope so real you’d swear you could touch it. 

 

 

Something in the story of the young Cambodian girl who was sold into slavery at the age of 9, and has never known a loving hand to touch her. 

 

 

Something in the sound of a mother’s voice, as she praises God for his miraculous healing and pours out life in every word she speaks. 

 

 

And I am realizing…my life will never be the same.