Eight weeks ago I signed up to run a half marathon (I know the title said marathon but it just sounded better so you’ll just have to go with it!) with my long time best friend, Brianah. The race was in Steamboat, CO so we were gonna road trip up there and see a few places before the race. Then I had a great idea that we could take all my gear I had for the world race and camp out all week so I could test it all out. That led to a longer trip because we didn’t have to pay for all those hotel nights (I’m all about saving that moolah).
We spent all week camping, hiking, white water rafting and driving all over Colorado until it was race day! The half marathon started halfway up Hahn’s peak and we ran back down into town to finish. During the race and after I couldn’t help but compare the race to my life. I think it was just the fact that I was being a little nostalgic while in Colorado.
3…2…1…GO! Everyone took off running and all of a sudden I felt like I could barely move. One, my music wasn’t working so I was trying to fix that and second, I ate one of those energy packs before and it wasn’t settling well. So the first 2 miles I had no idea how I was going to get through all 13.1 miles and all the people passing me just kept frustrating and discouraging me more and more. I kept praying to God to “please give me the strength and endurance to keep running” then something clicked in miles 3-8 and they flew by fast. However, mile 9 came around and it was miserable. The whole thing was going up hill and I wasn’t sure if my legs could keep going. After that the miles felt like they were dragging on but I was so close to the end and once I finally saw the finish line it was an amazing feeling.
I know it may be cheesy making a metaphor out of the race but it resembled so much in my life I just had to. I won’t go through the whole timeline but I have been in all those same places in my life. Where I feel like I’m not going to be able to keep going and I see people around me moving forward in life and I start playing the comparison game and it only frustrates me more. Then I’ll hit a good patch in life and feel great and time starts flying, but around comes an uphill battle and I feel like it’s never ending. I think once I’m over the hill everything will be better, but in reality, I can continue to look back and think back on it and the pain will spark back up again or I can think about how each step is getting me close to the finish line.
Some days are not as easy to forget the past. Trust me, i know…and sometimes I think if I just talk about what I’ve learned and make a plan it will be easy to keep it going everyday. But even as I write this I feel like I am in one of those slumps. I just want myself to snap out of it. I alone can’t get myself out of this funk. I believe these harder days come around because I need to recenter my life and focus on God instead of the distractions I’ve let take over. It’s easy to look back and let remorse, regret and resentment consume my mind.
Usually this happens when instead of focusing on God and what he’s doing in my life, I start to look at everyone else’s lives and see people in new relationships, engaged, married, having kids or moving and just doing great things in life. And because I just said that please don’t think I am not happy for my friends in these stages of life because I am! I think it is so great to get to celebrate with my friends about these things.
The race just helped me be able to visualize this better. There were many people who finished before me but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to finish. The Lord’s timing is and will always be perfect for each individual and although it can be really difficult in the moment and sometimes we might feel like we are never going to move forward. It will be so rewarding when we cross that finish line and can look back at all we got through and what we were able to accomplish because we continued to trust the Lord’s plan. Know that even when it hurts and you feel down the Lord is ALWAYS with you.
“…Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
Isaiah 43:1-2
