On the 41st day – ministry was full, God was present, and His love was abundant.
For ministry that day, my team went to a cabinet restaurant. This is a brothel, for lack of better words, fronted as a restaurant. Men or pairs of boyfriends and girlfriends walk in off the dusty, highway road and order off the menu, paying for whatever is “appetizing” to them.
Usually, large groups of tourists are not allowed in – only paying customers are permitted to enter into the establishment. Our translator informed us that the usual best case scenario was that we would be spending our day walking around the outside of the building in prayer and then leaving quickly to ensure we remained safe. That day – we got to go inside.
When you walk in, you are greeted by a girl at the front, just like a hostess. You are then escorted toward a narrow hallway lined with cabinets – these are small cubicles, with three and a half walls, no doors, one coffee table, and one bench. This is where it all happens. You sit, are given a menu, and go about the business you have come there to do.
The walls are painted a bright pink – but the atmosphere is dark and heavy.
My team walked in, all squeezed into one cabinet, followed by the three girls scheduled to “waitress” that day.
Three beautiful girls, all made in His image, sat next to me broken, hopeless, and scared. Shova is 20, Sunsila is 19, and Ruby is 24.
Ruby has a 7 years old daughter named Jenisha. It was a school holiday and Ruby had no other option but to bring Jenisha to work with her. Jenisha has long dark hair like her mother and is also hardened by the world, but in a different way. She is shy toward strangers. She hides her face, rarely smiles, but stares at you intensely when you pretend not to be watching her. Her frame is small, too small for her age.
When her mother brings clients home with her for extra money – Jenisha is given an alcoholic beverage to put her to sleep so she will not be aware of what is going on in the bed next to hers. This way, she cannot interrupt. Her mother justifies that this protects her daughter from knowing things she shouldn’t know at this young of an age.
My team orders cups of mountain dew, knowing we are paying for cold drinks and also the girls’ time. We chit chat about our favorite colors, popular music, paint their nails, and laugh over the constant miscommunication due to our minimal Nepali and their broken English.
Through our translator, I let them know how much their friendship meant to us. That even though we came from two different sides of the world, sharing mountain dew, laughter, and time together was, so far, my favorite experience in Nepal. I got to tell them how beautiful they were, how loved they were, and that my team and I were there because they were worth being known.
An hour and a half flew by like it does when you spend time catching up with old friends. My team extended an invitation to our three new friends to meet us for coffee the following morning. To our surprise, they extended an invitation back to us, inviting us into their home to instead make coffee for us. In Nepal, inviting strangers into your own home and preparing any sort of food for them is a very intimate gesture. We immediately accepted!
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When the few members from my squad arrived at Ruby’s apartment early this morning, we were greeted with hugs and smiles from our new friends. Shova and Sunsila put their arms around us as we all walked upstairs to Ruby’s flat. Ruby was excited, but surprised to see us. She admitted she thought we wouldn’t come. She asked, “You have the freedom to do whatever you want in Kathmandu, why would you come to my house and visit me when you hardly know me?”
I then reminder her how important hers, Shova’s and Sunsila’s friendships were to us. We had told them we would come – so we did. These girls are not ever made a priority – their families do not know where they live or what they do for work. They live in apartments where visitors are frequent, but genuine friends are a rarity.
These women have no days off – Sunday through Saturday they work 11am to 9pm. They make 5000 Nepali Rupees a month, which breaks down to $1.63 a day. To afford their rent and other expenses, they make money on the side by bringing clients to their home.
Their bodies, their apartments, their hearts – none of it is safe or sacred anymore.
Talking with Ruby, Sunsila, and Shova – two come from Christian backgrounds but have walked away from knowing Jesus out of fear of being shamed and one does not believe in any god.
In Nepal – the caste system is very real and very much a part of the locals’ daily lives. To be a Christian puts you in the lowest caste. You are not allowed to enter certain homes; you are not allowed to participate in nation wide festivals (which happen monthly here as the Hindu religion has 30 million different gods to celebrate.)
On top of being a social outcast, how do they know for sure the church due to their line of work won’t reject them? Will they be shamed for that they do? How can they ever tell their parents and admit to them where their lives have led? When you are so hurt by the world, and all you know is how to keep your head down and not make trouble, why would you want to make yourself known and trust someone again?
In the Nepali culture – when a woman gets married, the bride’s family must pay a dowry to the groom. Selling women and children into slavery is as old as Nepali culture itself. While technically it is illegal according to federal law, policemen and political leaders either participate in using prostitutes/slaves for their own personal benefit or receive money from dance bars/cabinet restaurants/child traffickers and, in return, look the other way. The people who should be protecting and rescuing these girls are in fact the people they are scared of the most. If they go to a policeman for help – they will either abuse them or they will be admitting they are involved in illegal practices and promptly be arrested.
Even worse, the majority of brothel owners in India are women who had been brought their from Nepal as child slaves and are able to get out just long enough to start their own business. According to the Global Slavery Index created in 2016, 234,600 Nepali men, women, and children are living in slavery. Slavery includes forced labor, sexual abuse, and forced marriages. The United Nations estimates that approximately 7,000 Nepalese women and girls are trafficked into India every year.
When families have a baby girl, Indian brothel owners and child traffickers will approach families and negotiate a deal with the parents to take their baby girl at a certain age (usually between 10 – 13 years old.) Typically, at age 13, a girl living in a Nepali village is to be married. Families, who would traditionally pay a dowry for the marriage of their daughter and view her as a burden, are happy to hand over their child as a new source of monthly income. Indian child traffickers come and collect the children, and in return, send money to their families each month according to their “work profits.”
Sunsila is 19 and was left by her husband one month ago. She is from a small Nepali village, studied and made great grades, and convinced her parents she was responsible enough to travel to Kathmandu and get a job in finance. Five months after arriving in the capital city, she met a man. They went back to her village, got her parents permission to marry, her parents paid the dowry, and they moved in together. Two months into their marriage, he left with no explanation and no contact information. At her parent’s home, she faces shame and a million questions, all coming from the same conclusion that it was her fault her marriage failed. Here in the city, she can be invisible. However, she could not continue to afford to feed and clothe herself on a single income. Her absent husband’s cousin, Shova, befriended her and gave her a job.
Shova is 20 and is now roommates and co-workers with Sunsila. Shova has been working in cabinet restaurants for two years. When Shova first began working in the restaurant, she met Ruby. Two years later, they switched locations, and now all three girls work together and live in the same apartment building. All they have is each other.
I spent my morning braiding Jenisha’s hair and helping her get ready for school while Ruby was preparing tea for everyone. When Jenisha caught the bus and left for school, it was like I was finally getting to sit at the adult table during the holidays and participate in the adult’s discussion. The atmosphere changed from early morning cartoons on the t.v. and light hearted conversations about similar interests, to faith, hope, love, and fears.
Tea was sipped and Jesus was discussed. We shared stories from our pasts, passages of scripture, smiles, and tears. We validated their worries and doubts concerning accepting Christianity and paying the price of becoming a social outcast.
We sat and talked in Ruby’s one room home for three and a half hours and made plans to meet again for breakfast this Friday morning. When they could have easily escorted us out of the room for asking them to consider believing in Christ alone as the one, true God and become social outcasts, they instead asked more questions and proceeded to tell us how much they enjoyed our friendship.
These girls are some of the bravest women I know – and I like to think I know a lot of outstanding, independent women. Seeds are being planted, friendships are growing, and the slow process of healing has begun. Establishing relationships with these women gives them the opportunity to get out of their current job positions and into a safe and reliable line of work through the ministry we are partnered with this month.
My prayer warriors – keep praying. Not only is God working in my own heart, but He is also working in the hearts of those around us just by placing us in the same room together.
** For more information on slavery in Nepal, click on these links for up to date and reliable information:
