So before leaving for the race, you couldn’t catch me in a kitchen longer than I absolutely had to be. My mom tried to teach me but I had zero interest and would check out within minutes. The thought of standing in a kitchen to cook and bake sounded horrible to me. With that, I would get physically sick when I would stand in the kitchen too long. I have no idea how that works or why, but there have been many times when I would have to walk away or sit down because my stomach would turn and I would get dizzy. Times when I wouldn’t even be making anything, just hanging out with my mom or Trish.
Something that is portrayed on television, and what I think is a cultural norm, had snuck into my mind and camped out there for YEARS, that to be a ‘good/worthy wife’ was to know how to cook and bake well. Little did I know that this would take a toll on me, I never thought it affected me in the way that I wouldn’t look at myself as a worthy option for marriage. I even went as far as saying I would only marry a man who knew how to cook because I don’t. (The Lord has redeemed this, what I thought was, a non-negotiable… HA). But honestly, thoughts like these would run through my mind, subconsciously, never voiced.
Back in Ecuador, I had asked the Lord to give me a love and a deep passion to cook and bake, along with taking away the physical sickness. Very slowly I began to want to learn how to make food and all kinds at that. It was really helpful that my last team had to cook for ourselves 3 months in a row. How convenient, am I right? Each time I got to be in the kitchen, I became more interested in everything that was happening – spices, utensils, measurements and everything in between. I found myself looking over my teammates shoulders and asking too many questions. The sickness was gone by the third month. I, then, began to crave being in the kitchen.
This past month, a huge part of the ministry was being in the kitchen cooking and baking cakes, cookies, bread rolls, cinnamon rolls, chapati and occasionally dinner. I was SO excited to begin, I could hardly contain it.
Somehow, I got to make more things in four weeks than I have in probably a year. No sickness. No “ugh I have to make more food”. No wanting to quit. Nothing. Just complete love, joy and thankfulness to an answered prayer.
About halfway through the month, God brought it to my attention that I had asked Him for this and He had answered me, in full and more abundantly than I asked. I sat with Him with this for a while, in awe of what He has done in me. He had answered me in giving me a love and deep passion. He had answered me in taking away sickness. AND He did more than just that. He rewired my mind. He turned my thoughts from “to be a good wife is to know how to be in the kitchen” to “now I get to humbly serve my future husband and family BECAUSE He has given me a deep passion”. How kind of Him to give me what I asked and redeem my mind. Now, I cannot wait to be in the kitchen whenever I want when I get home.
I am so thankful for a Father who hears our prayers.
I am so thankful for a Father delights in giving us the desires of our hearts.
I am so thankful for a Father who has the power to rewire unhealthy mindsets to healthy.
I am so thankful for a Father of abundance.
