This came to me as a complete shock, honestly. One of my squadmates sat with me in a hammock and waited until I was finished taking the test back at our first debrief in Colombia, once I told him I didn’t know what the enneagram was.
So I went about these last few months thinking I was ‘The Helper’ (type 2) because that is what the test told me I was. So, naturally, I went along with it.
Once we got to Peru, our (incredible) hosts asked us if we knew about the enneagram and what type we were. Most of my team had taken the test and ‘knew’ what type we each were.
*Spoiler… we were ALL wrong!
Of course we told them we wanted to learn more about it and which type we are. They warned us that it would take a few days, what can we say? We were READY!!
The first night we talked for 3 hours! With the help of a book, they started by telling us very important facts about the enneagram.
From the book: Knowing yourself is just as important as knowing God. What we don’t know about ourselves can and will hurt us and those around us. You will see parts of yourself in every number, it is the number that you will relate heavily to. You cannot expect to identify with every part of your number because everyone is made so uniquely.
From our host: The importance of knowing yours and everyone else’s enneagram number, because everyone has a number, is so that we know how to love them best. It is not to use ‘their number’ against them. Don’t be that person, it’s not cool.
Your enneagram number is NOT your identity! Your identity is in Christ and Christ alone – no number will/should ever take that away from you. Again, THIS NUMBER DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!
Now I won’t go into all the depths of each number because we’d for sure be here a while, but if you would like to know what type you fall under I can give you the reference of the book or my in depth notes, just reach out! 🙂
Each number falls into a Triad – basically how/what you operate out of.
Operating out of Shame or Feelings are types 2 (outwardly aware of others feelings), 3 (trouble recognizing feelings in themselves and others) and 4 (concentrate inwardly on their own feelings).
Operating out of Fear are types 5 (externalizing fear), 6 (internalizing fear) and 7 (forgetting fear).
Operating out of Anger are types 8 (externalizing anger), 9 (forgetting anger) and 1 (internalizing anger).
When I heard each triad, I thought for sure I’d fall under the ‘Fear’ triad… but the type 2 isn’t? So I really pressed my ear into listening, hanging on every word Holly was saying.
Three of my teammates, including myself, tested as a type 2 with another thinking she was a type 2.
‘It’s because that’s what you think you need to be as a follower of Jesus.’ Tim said.
Yikes! So what number could I possibly be? Don’t gonna lie, mini identity crisis sets in.
We start talking about type 9. Holly said the first 5 things you needed to know about nines and my heart was beating SO FAST and the nervous laughter came in… Tim saying, ‘nervous laughter means this is poking your heart, isn’t it?’
It’s almost as if she was saying everything I had never said aloud but could’ve been reading words that were capitalized and bolded across my heart. I was so intrigued and thankful that there were finally words for what I felt so alone in! But also felt super exposed to my team. They were finding out the parts of myself I didn’t even know how to put into words. I am thankful, however, because they know in what ways they can love me better to help me become a healthy nine!
Continuing through, more and more of what she was saying was resigning with me so well. So much so that there was no way I am not a type 9. Finishing up, Tim looked at me and said ‘I knew within the first 15 minutes of you being here that you weren’t a 2 but a definite 9 because Holly is a 9 and I can point out safe spaces faster than other numbers.’ If that gives you any indication that I am FOR SURE a 9!
Telling my mom all of this and sending her my notes, she immediately said ‘oh yeah, Kylie! No doubt in my mind that you couldn’t be that number.’ Guess moms do know everything… 😉
A HUGE prayer of mine before leaving this year was that I would find who I am in Christ. That I would stop living in others shadows and bowing down to whatever others wanted from me. That I would be my own person. I wasn’t expecting to hear this prayer being answered in month 1 but I did, and now closing in on month 3 with the Lord still being faithful to answering my prayer. Diving deep into the enneagram, with so much more I get to read and learn about, has revealed so much of who I am – not because the number says so but because of who Jesus has made me to be.
Wow, thank you Jesus.
xo,
Ky
