After we left Belfast we headed on over to Edinburgh. It was exactly as I had imagined it would be, the rolling hills covered in rocks and looking somewhat cold and barren, the sheep filled fields, the old country homes, the even older city with Georgian style architecture everywhere we went. The castles, monuments, museums. It was picturesque. One of the things that Joe really wanted to do while we were in Scotland was visit Stirling, which is an hour north of Edinburgh. It is home to the creatively named Stirling Castle, as well as was the stage for one of the major battles that was led and won by William Wallace in the fight for Scotland’s freedom.
The evening before we went to Stirling we watched Braveheart, you know, to prepare and educate ourselves, and also, just to get more excited about where we were going! (we do that in every place we go, watch movies that are somehow themed or based in that particular country. We watched Pitch Perfect 2 in Germany.)
I feel like every country that I travel to has a different feel to it, a different aura (not to sound too new agey about it), but there is just something that I feel when I cross the lines into new or different countries, and Scotland is no exception. In Scotland I felt conviction, and I felt it heavily. As we explored Stirling, and climbed the hill to the William Wallace monument, as we crossed the bridge that helped the Scotts to win the battle against the English, even as we watched the movie I felt strong conviction, and to be honest I still feel it. Conviction is great, it is a weighty pressure on your heart and soul, conviction is a something that is meant to spur us into action, and the close companion to conviction is choice, they walk hand in hand. The choices are clear, you either feel the conviction and choose to get uncomfortable and do something about it, or you choose to be comfortable and not do anything, either way a choice has been made.
William Wallace was a man of strong conviction, but more than that he was a man of action and a man that chose to fight for the things that he believed in, fight for change. I don’t thank that he was ever comfortable with it, because rising up against a nation and fighting for your freedom is just not easy. But, he believed in freedom, and he believed in it so much that he wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than winning not only his own freedom, but the freedom of his nation. His passion at the weight of his conviction spurred others into making choices and taking action as well, until his country’s freedom was eventually won, at the expense of his and many other lives. He was willing to fight and die for what he believed in.
Well shit. Talk about conviction hitting me right in the centre of the chest, as well as a slew of questions swirling around in my head like a mini tornado. What is it that I am fighting for? Do I fight for the things that I believe in? Am I a woman of action? Because as of right now I’m not so sure that I am. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. What things have I allowed to slide by for the sake of comfortability? What disciplines have I let go of? Am I willing to fight to the death for the things that I believe in?
Jesus says in Matthew 13:30
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.
So, that’s where Scotland left me. I am in process. In fact, this has been written weeks after our departure from Scotland and I am still sorting through the questions and wondering what choices I am making, the choice of action or the choice of apathy? Gathering or scattering? I just want so much more and don’t know how to put it into words.
