We're well into the holiday season, but until yesterday, I wasn't feelin' it. I wasn't super excited to hear Christmas music on the radio; decorating the house felt unnecessarily extravagent; and I'd been treating Christmas shopping like an obligation. This frustrated and saddened me for the longest time. But I finally pieced it all together!
Ever since Target started putting out decorations for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, I'd felt like I had been playing catch-up. Everything was moving too fast! I felt rushed through my celebrations. There was always something to do or something to buy or something to plan–and it would all be in preparation for the next thing. It was difficult for me to be present, and I felt like I couldn't slow down while the rest of the world was keeping up with this fast pace.
And that's when truth hit me: the majority of the world really isn't keeping up with this fast pace. Through a couple "chance" encounters and remembering the realities of where I'll be going next year, I was humbled and felt ashamed/guilty of my selfishness and ignorance. Here I was getting flustered over parties, gifts, and being in the "Christmas spirit," while so many people in other countries and in my own city are concerned with finding a warm place to sleep or a means to feed their families. What's wrong with me?!
I could have blamed our American culture (which I did a few times) and I could have just allowed myself to feel guilty about my life and sit in silent protest of the gaudiness of the holidays. But pointing fingers and feeling guilty isn't how God wants any of his children to live their lives.
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
"Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him–for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work–this is the gift of God" (Ecclesiastes 5:18-19).
And then I realized what was at the core of my holiday woes: I was so focused on doing things and making things right. It's so simple and it's the same old story that has haunted me before; but it was hidden so well this time. I had once again taken on the role of Martha:
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
(Luke 10:38-42)
When Jesus came to visit her and her sister Mary, Martha was so worried about making everything perfect for His stay that she was missing out on just enjoying the fact that Jesus was there! And He clearly tells Martha that what she is doing is unnecessary: "Only one thing is needed." Mary was setting that example of simply taking pleasure in being in the presence of God. This is what I have been missing during the holiday season. I've been having a Martha attitude towards Christmas, being so "worried and upset about many things": finding the right presents, seeing all the friends and family I can before January, getting in on all the usual Christmas traditions, worrying and feeling guilty about those who don't have much reason to enjoy this time of the year…I'm not saying that these are not good things to consider, but (forgive the cliqué) that's not what Christmas is about! In this season, we are celebrating the birth/the coming/the advent of the Savior of the world! We are celebrating the fact that he came down to earth so many years ago and the hope of His return. If we really think of Christmas as being about Jesus coming to us, then the best thing for us to do is to be present with Him. Only one thing is needed.
I can't believe it took me so long to come to this realization. But–seriously–better late than never. Now, I am by no means swearing off my Christmas celebrations. Quite oppositely, I finally feel the freedom to take pleasure in the things God has blessed me with. But my outlook on the holiday season has been renewed. I am going to enjoy the rest of this time just as I imagine Mary would–peaceful, joyful, and humbled at the feet of Jesus.
