There is no significance to the number 9. I just felt like writing out some thoughts and we happen to have 9 days left until I board a plane for America. THAT is strange.
Today was also our last day of scheduled ministry work. It hasn’t really hit me, yet, and I wonder if it ever will; after all, I don’t plan on ever not doing ministry, if you know what I mean. My life is a missions field, yeah?
I don’t know how to feel about the end. It’s funny–at the beginning of the Race, I made it a goal to be more present, not thinking too far ahead into the future, enjoying the moment…but right now I’m at a place where I’m so good at being present that I’m not really desiring to think that much about what comes after 9 days.
I mean, okay–there are obviously some things I’m definitely looking forward to: having my boyfriend pick me up from the airport, family dinner, Christmas lights, Disneyland…lots of things. But my mind is still functioning as if I’m going to be in Penang indefinitely–like, “This is my life.” After the weekend, a new week begins and I go to Kawan, Adventist Hospital, street evangelism on Wednesday night, PenHOP on Tuesday and Friday, Door of Hope on Monday and Thursday…
Well, now that was my life. And THAT is strange, too.
Once the weekend is over, our teams heads over to the hostel down the street to meet up with the rest of the squad for final debrief. Final debrief.
The end, as of now, is very similar to the end of many other great adventures in life: high school, college, a great summer camp…At least for me, I won’t realize it’s the end until after the end is over–probably after a week of waking up in my own bed. Being alone in my room. Driving a car. Not having team time every night. And see, now I’m getting sad and there’s a mental block. Perhaps, honestly, my mind doesn’t want to go there. I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want to miss people. I don’t want to be concerned with figuring out the next step (or with making moves to take the next step).
So I guess, all this is to say that I’m not quite sure how to feel about the end of the Race. I haven’t blogged in a while and I figured I’d let you all in on what’s been going around in my head. At least a little glimpse.
Welp–I have a 6 AM Skype date and Thanksgiving dinner to help prepare tomorrow!
More to come later 🙂
