Psalm 37. My anthem for month one of the race.
Before you read the rest of this blog, GO READ IT NOW. That was kind of aggressive, so sorry, but I’m about to let you all in on some very personal thoughts and some very personal things the Lord walked me through. They will make a lot more sense if you have just read the passage.
To be completely honest, the fact that the Lord used this passage throughout my entire month one is a testament to my hard-head. I’m stubborn and He started teaching me things from this passage about a month before I left and I wasn’t in a place where I was ready to receive all of it, so as His character states, He is patient. & He patiently guided me through it every single day the entire month, never growing tired of my hard-head. He graciously met me each day with a spoonful more of what He wanted me to gather from this passage. Every time I read it, I glean something new from it (which is one of the coolest things about Scripture, it can literally never get old because there’s always more to it).
Okay enough rambling (I’m really sorry to my faithful blog followers, y’all put up with a whole bunch of rambling and incoherent thoughts in these things), let’s get down to business (to defeat the Huns).
Week one of the Race this was a journal entry in my journal. Its just a list of questions that Psalm 37 prompted…
” •What does it look like for me to befriend faithfulness on the World Race?
•How do I delight myself in the Lord? Does that look like being as excited to spend time praying and meditating on His Word as I am to talk to my people back home every Saturday?
•What are the desires of my heart right now? Are they pleasing to the Lord?
•Will He only act when I’m trusting in Him?
•How do I ‘Be Still’ before the Lord? What exactly does that look like?
•In order to inherit the ‘land,’ we must wait on the Lord… What does that look like for me right now?
•What does it look like for me to be meek? How do you live a life full of peace?
•In vs. 17, it says, ‘ the arms of the wicked shall be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous.’ It does say that the arms of the righteous won’t be broken, just that the Lord will be holding them up the whole time… Do I trust Him enough to let Him break my ‘arms?’
•What is the heritage of the blameless?
•How do I go about being blessed by the Lord (vs. 22)? “
As you can see, I had a lot of questions. This list isn’t even all the questions I asked, they’re just the ones I chose to write down. Has God answered all those questions for me? Nope. Not at all. But He’s answering some of them in His time and that’s all I could ever ask for.
Befriending faithfulness on the race looks like me choosing to dig deeper than I have to. It’s me every single day asking for opportunities to be a woman of honor and to show His faithfulness to the people around me. It’s seeking to trust He’s faithful even when I don’t understand what He’s doing. It’s trusting His character and digging deep into the hard things He asks of me.
Delighting in the Lord is a hard one for me, and I’m still learning how to go about doing that on a day to day basis. It’s an intentionaldecision every single morning, one that if I’m being honest with you, I don’t make every day. It’s choosing to delight in his character, in His faithfulness, in His justice, in his constant presence even when I don’t feel He’s there. It’s choosing to believe and find joy in the fact that He is a God of restoration even when everything feels broken. It’s choosing to trust and find joy in the fact that He has invited me into growing His kingdom even though its hard and it hurts most days. Its choosing to believe He is exactly Who he says He is.
Waiting on the Lord means being willing to wait days, weeks, months, or years for answers. It means trusting that He will act and that His actions will be good, exactly like His character, no matter how long it seems to be taking. It means trusting His timing is better than my own. This is one the Lord has had to show me a lot of grace on because I’m not so great at it. I’m impatient and I want things done in my own timing and not God’s. I think my timing is right, over the God who exists out of time. Silly me. He’s still teaching me the different ways to wait on Him. He’s still walking me through this one, but me and Him, we’re getting there.
Being still is something I absolutely stink at. Not even just with the Lord, like in life. When I was little, I played the violin; and I used to get in trouble all the time for swaying. I couldn’t stand still. When I worship, I’m swaying back and forth. When I sit in a chair I bounce my leg up and down, up and down. I cannot be still. So to be still before the Lord is even harder for me. To sit and just listen, no talking, no moving before he tells me to, no impatience. Sitting, listening, and just dwelling in His presence. God is definitely still walking me through this one, slowly but surely.
Most of the other ones haven’t been answered either. He’s spoon-feeding me answers because He knows if He gives me too much at a time, I won’t truly understand it all. He’s patient like that, love that about Him.
But yeah, the Lord is walking me through a lot (and by a lot I mean one chapter of the Bible (and to give you even greater perspective, all those questions are from the first half of the chapter)). Him and I are becoming really good friends. He’s really patient and He loves me a lot. I’m learning to have patience like Him and to love Him right back. It’s a pretty sweet journey me and Him are on.
Thanks for taking the time to read this guys. Really means a lot. Be looking for more next week!
Until next time,
K
