I move to Guatemala in 6 1/2 weeks.
I say “move” instead of “go to” because I will be living there for three months. It’s not just a casual trip, it’s not just a half-invested thing; Guatemala is the next three months of my life.
That is the most terrifying statement that has ever come out of my mouth (or that I’ve typed out). I am leaving. Actually leaving the country and not coming back for nine months, and I am scared to death. I’m scared that I’m going to miss so much at home and won’t be missed in return. I’m scared I’m not going to be able to do any good to the places I go. I’m scared that I’ll fall in love with it but God won’t call me there and I will just come home and be extremely discontent. I’m scared to let myself form relationships with people over the time I’m there and then feeling the pain of leaving them. I’m scared of a lot.
I have some good news for myself. It’s good news for you too, whoever you are, because I know you’re scared of something too. God has given me ( and you ) the strength for the battle. He has given me a wide place to step so that I don’t slip and slide all over the place.
Psalm 18:35-39
“You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great. You gave me a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back until they were consumed. I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet. For you equipped me with your strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me.”
Fear is a L I A R.
My fears are my enemy, and all those things that I listed up there are lies. Lies that seem real, lies that are easy to believe, but lies nonetheless. Fear will tell you that the things your scared of are too overwhelming and you can’t do it. It will tell you that you’re not worthy and you’ll never be good enough.
Jokes on fear though, because God is on my side and with God on my side, nothing against me will ever tear me down. I can be broken and still be used. I can have fear (as long as I am continually fighting it off with truths from Scripture) and not be immobilized. I can love the people I meet and no matter where He calls me, I’ll be better for having loved them, not worse.
So yes, going on the World Race scares me. Leaving everyone I love and my normal routine seems like the end of the world. But God equipped me with his strength for this battle, he said go and if I am obeying, fear is going to sink under me.
