Dear Guatemala-
It’s 10:30 pm and I leave you for Africa in about 2.5 weeks. I’m bubbling with emotions and so this is my attempt to write it all out. And since I haven’t posted a blog in a couple weeks, I’ll give everyone else a insight on what I’m feeling as well.
I feel as if it would only be right if I started from the beginning. Guatemala, you were the country I was least excited for. In fact you were just a typical “missionary” country for me, a country that I overlooked- that was at least until I got here.
Now I’m here. I’ve been here for about three months. And in these past three months, your people have shown me the most love and kindness. And I don’t say that lightly. I’ve been invited to more homes and meals then I can count and I’ll be honest, the chicken buses are my new favorite transportation. It’s almost a game to me on how many people can fit in there.
The days where the mountains literally looks like heaven is coming down is incredible and never gets old. Running around playing soccer in El Campo never gets old. Sitting in Refuge working on my Spanish with David and asking for extra sweet mochas never gets old. Guatemala you are a place of newness, a place of renewal, a place of growth, and a place that never gets “old” to The Lord. He’s not finished with you yet, and being here for just three months has proven that to me more times then not.
Speaking of The Lord, he really has wrecked me here. Several times. Every Thursday to be exact and any of their time after that. I came here thinking that I have it together, that I was fine and that everything was ok. But being here, The Lord showed me just how “fine” I really was. To elaborate, I was so “fine” that it’s become part of my identity. My fake identity. A identity that has no place in my life nor is in my portion. My fineness was actually something I used to cover up my insecurities and pride. This identity isn’t even gone all the way but it’s a working process. A process that will take a second , but thank you, God for revealing these things to me now.
Now Guate, I do believe that The Lord would’ve showed me these things anyways, but I just happend to be here when it all went down. So let’s just say you’re the place where the Lord radically changed my life and my mindset forever. Crazy stuff. Guatemala, you’re part of my home now and this isn’t goodbye. It can’t be (I mean I guess it actually can but I’d prefer it not…) I just feel that all this time together surely can’t end in just a moment. So needless to say, I plan on making a return whenever The Lord will let me and if not, I’m praying for your people, this country, I’m praying for an overwhelming since of peace to flood this place for this is not a country of division but a country of unity. A country that stays together despite unfortunate circumstances. A country that is on fire for the Lord. Yeah, The Lord has big things in store for this place. And I’m so happy he let me be a really tiny little small part of it.
-kj
