I’ve always been a very emotional person and during LDW we spoke a lot on emotions and sharing them with the Father. During those sessions and into the week afterwards I have been discovering exactly what that looks-and feels-like. One emotion I’ve never really dealt with as it’s come is grief, and over this last week the Lord has really shown me just how much He cares and is truly with me as He leads me into this emotion. I’ve grieved a lot of past hurts as well as current ones and through it all I know He is right there with me, guiding me gently into these emotions to completely heal me. The further I dive into sharing my emotions with Him, the more I’m conforted and freed from all the lingering hurt and I’m beginning to recognize the harmful habits that supressing grief has created. Jesus is bringing those habits to light and releasing me of them as I continue to run to Him in those moments. Something really hard for me this week has been feeling the grief as it comes from the long distance relationship between Connor, my boyfriend, and I. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been supressing my missing him until a session on grief at LWD where I cried it out and thought I got it all out, later to be told we’d been asked to not utilize our international data as well as wifi this month. I think it’s a combination of both the lack of communication and the actual attention to the feelings that have really thrown me for a loop. But, as always, God had something to say to me during a breakdown I had, “I’m right here with you. I feel this with you.” as well as redefining intercessory prayer for me, and in this I received the perfect comfort that can only come from Him. I know I’m right where He wants me and I know He has a lot more in store that will best be accomplished on the Race, so I’ll keep going to Him with my tears and trust He’ll give me joy in return!!!
