“So, why would you do this?” Adrian asked. “Isn’t it the American dream to get married and start a family? Why would you give that up for this? A whole year of delaying your chance at having that?”
The answer came instantly.
“Well, yes. Of course that’s a dream. But my ultimate dream is to follow Jesus. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past 3 months it’s how incredibly sweet it is to follow Him! It’s easy to give up or delay smaller dreams when it means walking in your biggest ones.”
Nonetheless, after my conversation with Adrian the enemy was so quick to step in.
“He’s right you know. That is the American dream. To be married and have a family. But you gave the possibility of that up for this, and now – who knows.”
I know, I know. That escalated quickly. How did we go from traveling for 11 months to the possibility of never getting married?! But that’s where my mind went!
Singleness is a topic brought up fairly often on the race. When you commit to the race you commit to a year of remaining single. A year of delaying even the opportunity of finding him whom my soul loves and starting forever!
And yet, have I not already found Him whom my soul loves?
Over the past 6 and a half months I’ve lived in the abundance of life that comes from following Jesus. I’ve prayed over a dumpster community struck by a landslide, made numerous embassy employees laugh (more difficult than it sounds), and witnessed the Lord soften teenage orphans’ hearts to Himself through new formed family. I’ve been encouraged by a once Buddhist man who now walks in the power of the Holy Spirit, and shared about the free gift of abundant life Jesus gives with a Muslim woman straining to provide life for her family. I’ve gotten to spin street kids ‘round and ‘round and ‘round, and play cards with street families – all while watching the Lord prove Himself in being far greater than any language barrier. I’ve gotten to encourage international churches and missionaries, and remind wanderers of the Love they forgot the wonder of. I’ve brought people to church for their very first time and connected them with believers who can be by there side long after we leave. I’ve danced my heart out with high school girls on the rooftop of their dorm. And I’ve made the most encouraging, real, raw, ridiculous, life-long friends. All under His orchestration! Under His mighty hand.
I’ve seen the Lord make miracles happen to answer what seemed like impossible prayers. I’ve seen Him come down and comfort me in the midst of my brokenness, mend my unforgiving heart, and restore me with His relentless grace. I’ve seen Him take time to tenderly reassure me He is right beside me, that I do hear His voice and He does hear my prayers, and that He loves me with an overwhelming love. And I’ve seen Him shower that same incomprehensible love and grace upon countless others.
Walking with Jesus leaves me breathless. Truly! There are moments I feel like I need to remind my heart to keep beating. It’s beautiful, and exciting, and way more than I could ever dream up on my own. And I know it sounds dramatic, but I have fallen so in love with it I’m often left speechless.
I had once heard with my ears that there was nothing more satisfying than walking with the Lord, but now I’ve seen it with my eyes. Now I know it with my heart.
Through marriage we get to experience our Lord in a whole new way. A way that people who are single are not able to. There is no other relationship on earth where two become one and therefore it brings experiences and understandings of Christ no other relationship can bring. And I’m absolutely pumped for the day I get to experience the glory, the bliss, the unconditional grace and dying to self-desires for the sake of the one who has become your other half through our Jesus!
But right now, I am experiencing the Lord in a way that someone who is married is not able to. Not in a better way. Not in a worse way. Simply, in a different way. And I would never, ever wish this way of knowing and experiencing Him and His love away!
My prayer is this, that following Jesus would continue to be my ultimate dream. That getting to chase every other dream with Him by my side would be the source of my joy. That His beauty and surprises would never stop leaving me in awe. And that in whatever season of life, whether alongside a spouse or a bunch of randos I met 6 and a half months ago, my heart would burst at its seams because of nothing more than the fact that I get to adventure through life with Jesus.
