“But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’” 1 Corinthians 1:27-31
This may sound silly, but in my Bible there’s a big “LOL” written next to this passage. These verses have become life verses to me. Early on I determined myself as simply another fish in the sea. Someone there, but no one special.
Yet, once I got to college and truly gave my life to the Lord, I started noticing a pattern. Time after time I was given an opportunity for a job/position I was completely unqualified for, one I felt completely incapable of. It never made sense to me.
I began to recognize, however, that God was choosing my weakness and becoming my strength. He was choosing my foolishness and becoming my wisdom. He was choosing my un-qualifications and purposing me into His will. So, when month three of my World Race journey ended and God told me about alumni squad leading next year… I was still pretty surprised. At that point I hadn’t even been asked to be a raised-up squad leader.
Side note: There are alumni squad leaders (ASQLs), who have done the race previously and go back onto the field for 5-6 months to help set the foundation of another squad’s race. Then, there are raised-up squad leaders (RSQLs), who are asked to lead the squad for the last 5-6 months of their race, after the alumni squad leaders leave.
God knew what He was doing though, because four months later when I was officially asked to be an ASQL, I needed the reminder of what He had spoken to me months previously for me to even consider praying about it. That sounds bad, but the four months between were filled with me figuring out a new role as an RSQL, facing things I felt unequipped for and often failed in, and two trips to the hospital.
Actually, I was in the hospital for the second time when I received the email about going back out. I remember laughing to myself. I left it there with a single thought – no way.
Almost two weeks later, I remembered what the Lord spoke to me months before and witnessed my co-leader praying fervently about the same opportunity. I knew I should be praying about this too. So, I had a conversation with God that went a little something like this…
God, to be honest, I don’t even know I want to do this next year. But I do want to follow You. I know this is something You’ve spoken in the past. So – if this is something You have for me, I need some confirmation…
I need the desire to do it.
I need my health restored.
I need my parents to be on board. *My parents have been a constant support, and I want them to feel involved and honored if I go back out.
Now, I knew the Lord could make the first two happen. But that last one… “Good luck.” I thought.
Like I said previously, my parents have always supported me. But over this year, they sent a big piece of their heart far away. And if that wasn’t enough, they were the ones I turned to when my heart broke from missing home, confusion hit as I figured out my place, insecurities surfaced as I felt I was failing, and my health made me feel like I could not go on. (Some dramatic emphasis added) As parents, I can only imagine how much their faiths were tested.
But, over the next few weeks, the Lord got to work. That month He increased my passion for our squad’s ministry and the role I have in creating space for the squad to better know and follow God’s voice. Suddenly, I had a desire to set the stage for another squad to walk in this. Physically, I started becoming stronger. And my parents, who at one point admitted God would have to do some work for them to be on board, looked me in the eyes with, “Kylee, you were chosen for this.” *cue the tears*
As I confirmed with my mentor I would join Fusion Four, we hit some bumps in the road that could have led to me not going out. Insecurity and confusion struck, as I began to question if I heard all wrong. Maybe I made up that I was supposed to go.
But God, in His kindness and patience, reminded me He is for me and my good. He reminded me He faithful, He does speak to me, and I can trust Him. So, over the next 3 weeks I steadfastly held onto His promise as He miraculously pieced everything together.
In just two weeks my Fusion Three journey will end and I’ll head home. I’m filled with anticipation to see the ones who have my heart! – to hear what all God has done at home, and testify to all He’s walked me through.
In January 2018 (two months from now!) I will fly out to Columbia with Fusion Four as an ASQL. I will be with them for six months, as we also travel to Ecuador, Peru, Spain, Bulgaria, and Montenegro. I am so excited to be a part of their journey and witness God reveal Himself even more to them as they serve Him around the world!
To take part in ASQLing I will need to raise $5,000 for the six months I am on the field. Throughout this year, God has continuously reinforced His provision for His children to me. I am confident He won’t stop being faithful now.
I will be raising money through both my World Race page and YouCaring at https://www.youcaring.com/kyleekrusemark-1003447?utm_campaign=buttonshare&utm_medium=url&utm_source=copy&utm_content=cf_cp_01
I cannot thank everyone who has contributed in prayer and financial support over this past year enough! It has been a year that will leave a lasting impact on all the years to come for me and so many others. All prayers and financial contributions for this next step in my journey would be so appreciated!
Let’s do this one more time!
