I will be completely honest. This time of year is hard. It’s Christmas, and for the first time in my life, I won’t be spending the night with my little sisters sleeping on the floor. We won’t be getting up to go get coffee at 6:15 in the morning. We won’t pick out the one episode that is the perfect length of time to open our stockings and anxiously await 7 am when we are allowed to storm the door to my parents’ room. All my friends are coming home for Christmas. In fact, as I write this, three of my best friends are driving back from one of their schools. It’s hard. But also, not really. I was talking with my teammate Regan this morning, and I looked at her and more or less said “what the heck? Who gets this life?” Since I was a little girl, I desired to learn as much as I possibly could from as many people as I possibly could. I wanted to travel, meet people, and understand deeply that my suburban life could not compare to the beauty of the rest of the world. I didn’t know what that would look like. I thought it might have been studying abroad when I was in college, backpacking after I graduated, or living internationally for work when I got into my chosen field. I realized recently that by the time I get off the race, I won’t even be twenty years old yet. WHAT? What is this life that I get to live? Every morning, I get up at 6:30 and get to go have all the chai I can drink while I sit in the still briskness of the early morning. I get to walk up a path lined with trees, and eat every one of my meals in a tent like structure that is a burst of color against the green of the forest. I get to play soccer with little kids, build churches, and meet people. We get to watch cows roam up the street, unattended.
In a conversation I had with my squad leader, he said that if you asked him if he thought this would be his life when he was 16, he wouldn’t believe it. Here’s the thing: If you would have told me this was going to be my life, I would have agreed with you. God laid this passion on my heart for as long as I could remember. My life right now is a fulfilled promise. And the crazy thing is that it is better than I could have every even dreamed of. During this season, I can’t help but radiate joy and gratefulness because of the life I get to lead. It hits me every moment of every day.
