My lovely mom wrote a blog post about her experience on this journey and it’s honestly the sweetest thing. Hope you enjoy!
When Kylee was about 5 years old we were in Church for Ash Wednesday. We attended an evening service to get our ashes. The church was dimly lit and I had 4 kids, 5yrs old and younger alone. My husband was working overtime and I was just happy I got there and all the girls were sitting relatively quiet before the service started. Kylee was standing next to me looking at everything, since it was unusual for us to be in church at night. She started looking at the crucifix above every Catholic alter and began asking questions about Jesus. The questions ranged from: What are we doing here? Who is that guy (the priest)? Why is he wearing a dress? When is it going to start? Then the big question came that I believe was a turning point in Kylee’s spiritual world, Why is Jesus on the cross? I told her a 5 yr. old version of what Jesus did for us. She began to cry, soft at first then gradually became louder and more heartfelt. I, again here with 4 young children alone, tried to calm her down by asking what was wrong. Her answer gave me all the confidence in the world that Kylee had already given her heart to God. She said, “Wow, Jesus loves me” This 5yr old little girl already knew what an amazing act of love Jesus’ death was for us all.
Thirteen years later, September of 2018, Kylee told me she felt called to do a mission trip with World Race. I was very skeptical, nervous and unsure we should let her do something like this. Kylee has always wanted to help people, she volunteers with the organization Young Life, she has volunteered at the local nursing home but she has never been away from home doing extended volunteering. I mean Kylee had never been away from me for more than 2 weeks continually in her whole life. I tried to suggest local volunteer opportunities, maybe Habitat for Humanity, after all there are people in the United States that need help. She was determined to go on this trip.
After many conversations, she applied and when she was accepted she was ecstatic, I was in the other room quietly crying. I don’t think Kylee ever knew the level of my fear and doubt about this trip I felt. It was the cause of a year of sleepless nights, stress, financial strain, it was the catalyst to a life changing career move, and more importantly a change in my own spiritual outlook. But as any mom does, I got behind her. I researched the organization, we got her inoculations in order, I brainstormed the fundraising activities, and I talked to her for a year about her goals and dreams.
As this summer came and it was getting closer to Launch, I realized this was ACTUALLY going to happen it wasn’t some time in the future. I spend the weeks leading up to her send off getting her physically ready, emotionally building her up for the year ahead and bracing myself for a year away from my amazing daughter. If you saw me in those weeks leading up to Launch I was barely holding it together. The mix of Kylee’s jubilation juxtaposed with trepidation was amusing even to me.
I brought her to Georgia in early September and spent two incredible days saying goodbye. The World Race offers workshops for us parents. We heard from former racers, parents and administration of Adventures in Missions. I worshiped with her and finally the moment where I tearfully said good bye. As I left Kylee, I was upset and sad. On the way to the airport to fly home, I sensed this calm that came over me. I felt the peace that Kylee was in God’s hands. I know in my head my entire family has always been God’s hands but this was the first time I really had to lean on my faith and believe that my faith would be enough. I have not had a moment of concern or fear since that moment of calm. I STILL miss my baby. I STILL want to see her beautiful face and hear her voice. But I know she is exactly where God wants her now. I was told in this past year, from a beloved aunt, that Kylee has always been Gods child. He will use her to do good in this world.
I have finally met Kylee’s enthusiasm and excitement about this trip. I can see the difference in her already and I am confident that the world is better off with her in it. I am enjoying the journey now.
