Hello everyone!
God has me in Honai, Vietnam this month.
My introvert tendencies have been quite annoying lately…. largely because of the mandatory buddy system. If you’re like me and you need time alone to recharge your batteries, this rule can be enervating. I found myself on my knees praying that God would make me more of an extrovert so that I wouldn’t get exhausted when inundated with people.
I started wondering if God made a mistake when He created introverts. Logically, extroverts have more to offer the church and society because their drive, passion for people, and willingness to effect change far exceeds that of introverts.
I wanted God to change me. I no longer wanted to be who I was. Training camp taught me that God was going to use this time to change me and that was precisely what I wanted. I didn’t want to go back home as an introvert, I wanted people back home to see how much I changed. I wanted God to take the introverted caterpillar and change me into an extroverted butterfly… a metamorphosis that would allow me to flourish rather than cower around groups of people.
It basically boiled down to this…
I am an introvert.
Introverts are mistakes.
I am a mistake.
However, there was a problem with my reasoning… particularly in the second premise. I realized that I was actually falling prey to the idea that God made a mistake. Even when I’m at my worst, I know that God never makes mistakes.
I was made by God.
God does not make mistakes.
I am not a mistake.
In claiming that HE made a mistake when He created introverts, I was doubting God. My God makes no mistakes. He intentionally made me an introvert. Why? I’m not quite sure yet. What I did realize is that when people say, “God is going to change you.” What they really mean is that He is going to stretch you. He already made you the way He wanted.
The struggles I have with being an introvert (this month in particular) are the areas I need to be stretched in. Please pray that I can be stretched and molded into who God intended and that we, as Christians, see ourselves the way that God does.
Also, keep me in your prayers as I am still not fully funded, and I only have a couple more months before the final deadline!
