I have been in Thailand for a week now; the few days were used for training.
The first part of my trip taught me that I needed to lean on God, not just take care of myself. I needed to allow Him to help me. Which brings me to what happened first, I left my debit card back in Nebraska… I felt so stupid for leaving such a important thing back home. How was I suppose to survive in Thailand if I couldn’t provide for myself?
I needed…. ugh… this is still hard to process… I needed to tell someone of my mistake and ask them if they would help me until my debit card arrived. Luckily, I am with a great group of people who were happy to help me. My family managed to get my card sent to me. A week later, I reclaimed my debit card and felt like less of a burden.
As we arrived at training camp, I had my backpack by me. To be honest, I clung to my bag (I had already “lost” my debit card). Once we got off the bus, they had us spilt our bags into two groups. That’s when the group leaders said some of the most terrifying words I’ve ever heard.. “uh no, some of your bags we lost at the airport. You will need to buddy up with someone and let them help you.” my bag was one of those lost.. and again I needed to ask someone for help. God has a very funny sense of humor, and sure was teaching me about relying on others. I got my bag back the next day after our leaders explained the ruse and that our bags had been safe the entire time.
Training camp was a huge blessing and allowed me to learn a lot about myself. God sent me on a walk. So I walked with God. I was enjoying the beauty of everything at training camp, when I noticed that something that was off. It was a dead tree. God asked me a question, “How many people feel like this?” I honestly didn’t know how many people felt like a tree, but the more I looked at the tree the more I understood. He was asking me how many people feel ugly. That’s what a dead tree looks like, it’s ugly. Most of us don’t want it around our homes, and we don’t want their dead twigs in our yards. But really, how many people believe they’re truly ugly both on the inside and outside?
If that sounds like you, I have a story for you. I’ve felt like that before, and this tree hit me like a train. There was a point that my life seemed dead, that there wasn’t anything left for me to do. That lie suffocated me and made me believe that I was ugly. I was like that until I heard “I made you, I created you in My image.”
Seeing this tree branch caused me to pause but I still didn’t understand why. I knew that I was beautiful. I looked up at the sky. “What, God? I don’t understand. I’ve got nothing. Can you please send a telegram or something more tangible?”
I feel like someone out in the world needs to know that they are beautiful and they have a heavenly Father who does no wrong. He created them and He DOES NOT make mistakes. Anything to the contrary is a LIE. Sin causes people to believe in the ugliness and, for them, not believing that they were made special. That’s not God. God is beauty and He made us that way.
What’s amazing about this seemingly dead tree was the fact that it only appeared dead. At the top was a beautiful flower blooming strong for everyone to see. The beauty of the tree was the fact that it was growing… soon it will grow leaves and other flowers.
So please, if you ever felt the way I have felt. It’s not true. You’re still blooming just like me. I am taking it upon myself to let those around me know that they are beautiful. Even if I don’t know them, if God says “Kylee, that one needs reminded.” I will walk up to them and say “You are beautiful. You were fearfully and wonderfully made.”
This is what training camp taught me, to step out of your comfort zone and let everyone know they are loved and that they are beautiful.
I’m excited about what God has me doing next.
Always remember, you are beautiful and you are loved. God doesn’t make worthless things. Never underestimate the plans that He has for you.
