These past few weeks I have come to the realization of a startling truth: I don’t trust God. He revealed this to me one night after I watched the documentary “Father of Lights” by Darren Wilson. In the film Darren captures many miracles that God is doing all over the world. One of these crazy miracles is a man who hears God’s audible voice on a daily basis. God wakes Him up each morning and gives Him instructions on what to do with the day!
How awesome is that?! After seeing what God is doing with this guy I have to admit, I wanted a piece of it. I mean after all, I am God’s adopted son, the beloved of Christ! Why wouldn’t He allow me to hear His audible voice?
So I went out to the cornfield behind my house to get away from everything and began speaking to Him and asking if He would allow me to hear his voice. After an hour of praying this is what I heard: “…….” Nothing. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrated I was. From my point of view I was doing everything right and was following Christ as best as I could. “WHY WILL YOU NOT GIVE THIS TO ME?!” I screamed inside my head.
Then I felt a peace rush over me and in a still small voice inside my head I heard the Lord say, “You don’t trust me.” – What? I began arguing with the Lord completely disagreeing with what He said…then the reality of how stupid it was to do that hit me. Regaining my senses and trying to pull myself together I asked the Lord, “Give me the ability to prove I trust you, because I swear I do! I’ve given you my life for crying out loud!”
Then the Lord told me, “Walk to the top of the hill.” – “Um…what? Walk to the top of the hill? It’s 10pm! I don’t have a flashlight, and there could be bears, coyotes, or even skunks out there!” Then it hit me…I don’t trust Him.
So I began to walk up the hill, even though everything inside of me was telling me to go back, that it wasn’t safe. As I topped he hill the Lord told me to stop with a sense of urgency. As I stopped I looked around and saw a skunk less than 30 feet away. He hadn’t seen me yet!
Then I felt the Lord tell me that everything will be okay as long as I continue to trust in Him and allow Him to guide my path. To trust everything He has to say and to follow Him wherever He goes. How great is it that He gives us the opportunity to follow Him in safety?!
How awesome is that?! After seeing what God is doing with this guy I have to admit, I wanted a piece of it. I mean after all, I am God’s adopted son, the beloved of Christ! Why wouldn’t He allow me to hear His audible voice?
So I went out to the cornfield behind my house to get away from everything and began speaking to Him and asking if He would allow me to hear his voice. After an hour of praying this is what I heard: “…….” Nothing. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrated I was. From my point of view I was doing everything right and was following Christ as best as I could. “WHY WILL YOU NOT GIVE THIS TO ME?!” I screamed inside my head.
Then I felt a peace rush over me and in a still small voice inside my head I heard the Lord say, “You don’t trust me.” – What? I began arguing with the Lord completely disagreeing with what He said…then the reality of how stupid it was to do that hit me. Regaining my senses and trying to pull myself together I asked the Lord, “Give me the ability to prove I trust you, because I swear I do! I’ve given you my life for crying out loud!”
Then the Lord told me, “Walk to the top of the hill.” – “Um…what? Walk to the top of the hill? It’s 10pm! I don’t have a flashlight, and there could be bears, coyotes, or even skunks out there!” Then it hit me…I don’t trust Him.
So I began to walk up the hill, even though everything inside of me was telling me to go back, that it wasn’t safe. As I topped he hill the Lord told me to stop with a sense of urgency. As I stopped I looked around and saw a skunk less than 30 feet away. He hadn’t seen me yet!
Then I felt the Lord tell me that everything will be okay as long as I continue to trust in Him and allow Him to guide my path. To trust everything He has to say and to follow Him wherever He goes. How great is it that He gives us the opportunity to follow Him in safety?!
