Well here we are at final debrief. It may seem a little weird, but I never actually thought that this week would come. The race has been long and hard, yet at the same time has flown by and been amazing. I always thought this week would be somewhat magical. Kind of like a wedding actually. I thought it would feel like graduating high school. Like we finished one season of life and that it will never come back in any way again. In some ways that’s true, but overall I think it actually feels like a beginning.
11 months ago I flew up to DC for our squads launch. During the 3 or 4 days we stayed in our hotel I always felt like the race wasn’t actually about to start, that I would be going home first. Little did I know that I am actually never going to go “home” again. At least that is what many alumnus I have spoken with say. “Home just feels different and it will never go back to being what it was.” I’ve seen the world now, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know what is out there and can’t return home without being radically changed. As scary as that sounds and perhaps is, I’m looking forward to the challenge of re-entry. The way I see it, it’s going to be an opportunity for me to be squeezed and for Jesus to come out. Hopefully my attitude will remain the same when I get there.
This week feels a lot like what I thought my launch would feel like…exciting, sad, horrifying, and amazing. It feels like I’ve been taking a course on how to do life God’s way for the past 11 months and now I’m about to go off into the real world all by myself for the first time. Any plans I had prior to this moment have been canceled (the ATL included). I feel like I’m about to jump out of a plane with God as my parachute and guide. I have no idea where to go, no idea what to do, but at the same time am overwhelmed with peace in my heart. God has me and He’s had me this whole time. I thought I knew that before, but now my heart knows it.
No matter what happens I feel like what I have learned on the world race is going to stick with me forever. I feel as though I have been transformed from being a passive aggressive “know-it-all” into a better version of who God created me to be. I feel like I’m free from myself and because of that I’m free from people. I’m 100% God’s.
So, here I go AGAIN! Off on another adventure, but this time it’s called “life.”
