Be imitators of God—Ephesians 5:1
I want to be like God. I want to imitate Him. I want to see what He sees. I want to see what He is showing me. I want to hear what He hears. I want to hear what He is saying to me. I want to walk hand-in-hand and step-for-step with Him in the spirit. I want Him to shape and mold me. I want Him to teach me. I want to be just like Him.
I want a heart like God…
In Ezekiel 11:19 God says—I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them.
That is what I want…a new heart and new spirit…and He wants to give it to me…all I have to do is ask. So I ask for this all the time…and He is starting to give it to me…PRAISE GOD!
I know He is giving me His heart because I have been learning some tough lessons on the World Race…one of them is…
If you want a heart like God…He has to rip your heart out first before He can give you His…
At the end of Ezekiel 11:19, God says—and I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh.
God has continually been trying to rip my heart out of my chest…and He isn’t giving me any drugs to numb the pain…He is just reaching in, squeezing to get a good grip, and pulling.
And it hurts…it hurts a lot…He is pulling out all the junk in my heart…I want to fight it but I know I shouldn’t. I don’t know what to do. I just want to quit because I have nothing left. No more of my own strength, no more of my own energy…I’m just drained…
But that is only because I am not quite ready to die…I am fighting to stay alive…my heart is still connected to me by a few veins and arteries…my heart is still trying to pump and keep me alive. And He just wants me to let go of this life, just to submit, and trust Him…to trust that when my old heart beats for the last time, He will create in me a new heart that will bring me to life…life like I never imagined.
During this process, I know He has sent angels to comfort me…literally…one of my teammates saw an angel kneeling with me the other night…they bring me comfort. They feel my pain and they whisper in my ear to submit. I know they are there because I couldn’t do this on my own.
But it still hurts…I still cry…but through my tears, I see His hand. It is all over me. I see that He sees a son that is broken. I see that He is trying to restore me. He hears my heart screaming out for Him and He comes running to bring me comfort and healing. He keeps telling me to just trust Him. Over and over, He says it is going to hurt a little but it is going to be ok…He says that where we are going is so worth the pain. He tells me He has huge plans for me.
And this brings me so much joy…
God I thank you so much for what you are doing in my life…You are so amazing and so faithful…You are such a mystery and I love watching You work the way You do…I want a heart like Yours…I know it doesn’t come without pain…I want to be like you and follow you at any cost…keep stripping me…I want to know you more…I want more of your heart. I want to walk with you…side by side…I want to see what you are doing…I want to hear what you are saying…I want you to use me…for your purposes…and I know that will cost me more…I know it will hurt more…but I want more…I want you…all of you…just like you want all of me…
God…YOU ARE GOOD…ALL THE TIME…and I trust you with my heart and my life.
