Wowza. Training camp was crazy everyone… I started off the week not having a very good relationship with God. The last couple of months I have fallen into some temptations that lead me away from Him so I was a little nervous For what was about to happen in those 10 days.
I met some of my team the night before training camp and it was so exciting. We went out to eat, visited the “trap house” and then accidentally popped a tire in the middle of an intersection while we were on or way to Catherine’s house 🙂 We called up some of the guys who lived an hour away and asked it they could come help us out. They showed up at about 12:00.We ended up getting home at 3:00 in the morning. It was such a fun time and a great way to meet some of my squad for the first time.
The next day we went out to eat for lunch and then went to party city to get a whole bunch of purple for squad wars. The challenge was whichever squad came in the most of their color would win and get a certain amount of points. So we got decked out in purple and then we drove to the camp. There were people screaming and cheering and it was all so exciting at time, but the first four days were pretty rough for me. I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be there. I kept doubting myself and saying that “this isn’t actually God’s plan for me”. Whenever we had personal time I would go in my tent so I could be by myself because I didn’t want to be around anybody. I would go to bed early at nights and cry in my tent because I felt so sad and stuck. I missed my family a lot. I kept thinking to myself, “If I can’t go a couple days without missing my family then how am I going to go 9 months without them? I can’t do this.” I would wake up in the mornings and I would still feel homesick and all I wanted to do was cry but I couldn’t because then everyone would ask “what’s wrong”. It was terrible. I was trying to connect with God but things just weren’t clicking for me. I kept asking Him to help me feel His presence but I was getting nothing.
I finally went and talked to Kate (my mentor) about it during my personal time and she helped me out so much! We talked and talked and we prayed and I felt so free after that. I told her everything that had been going on in the past couple of months and she was such a good listener. She prayed over me and she gave me some time to talk to God. After talking with Kate I felt different. God had definitely took away that homesickness and doubt that I was feeling. I started to stay up at nights with my squad and I would also hang out with them during personal time.
It was one of the last nights and we had a session and during the last part of it the speaker asked us to close our eyes. He told us that if we are willing to surrender everything to God right now and be a disciple for him to stand up. I stood up and 2 hands were laid on me. The speaker prayed over everyone who stood up and then we sat back down. It was so crazy because when I sat down I got a vision and it was me in a dark room and there was a door and a bright light was bursting out of it and there was a man walking towards me. I didn’t really think much of it because I thought I was picturing it with my own imagination.
Then someone tapped my shoulder and told me she had a vision that God was telling her to give to me. She said that she was seeing me at a table and that I was hungry and I was just craving for more and more. I related to that so much during the past week and a half while I was there. The whole time I was praying to God and asking Him to help me feel his presence. I wanted to feel the Holy Spirit so badly. And then the lady got another vision and this time it was the words “welcome home”. I started crying because I was so happy. I felt so much peace through those words. I started to realize that the vision God gave me was Him reaching out to me when I was in the dark and helping me come to Him. It wasn’t my imagination, it was God. She had told me that whatever doubts I was feeling at the beginning of the week will be taken away. It was amazing because I had never talked to this lady before so how would she have known about my struggle with doubt? It was so such a cool experience. I felt so much peace after that night.
After training camp I went to a church camp and that brought me even closer to God. The theme was hearing God’s voice. After church camp I went to Rocky Mountain High which is a huge church event in Colorado. My faith grew so much during those 4 days while I was in the mountains. All of the sessions we had brought my so much closer to God. The speakers were excellent and they were so confident in their faith which was very inspiring.
I’ve seen God do so many amazing things this past month. Not just in my life,but in other people’s lives too. My faith has grown so much during these past weeks and it makes me so excited to go and be God’s servant.
John 15:4
Abide in me,and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.
