12:22 a.m. Late night thoughts. Thinking about if I made the right decision doing this mission for God. Nervous, scared, and worried that I might have heard God wrong and this isn’t the plan He has for me… and then I hear Him say, “Don’t worry child, I’ve got you. Trust me.”
Laying in bed I began thinking about what it’s going to be like for those 9 months while I’m gone… I realized I won’t be able to dance in the kitchen with my best friends Sam and Abby to the soundtrack of Spirit whenever I want or to pull pranks on my parents and to laugh about dumb stuff with my sister Morgan. I won’t be able to sleep in my own bed or watch the show Friends every night before I go to bed. Everything will be different and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. All these worries started running around in my head and I started freaking out. I asked God to comfort me and then I felt peace and God told me to get up and read my devotion book. I started searching through the pages for the right words He wanted to show me. And then I found them.
“Following Christ is not going to cost you something; it’s going to cost you everything. Everything in you that isn’t a part of the life of Christ in you had to be purified, cleaned out of your life. And purification hurts. Your heart and body may violently object when something you love is taken away. But pain of giving up all that isn’t Christ in you shouldn’t be something to fear but something to look forward to. Because with each part of you that you give up, you get a part of him. And the more you get, the more becomes like him.
Giving things up in order to come closer to God, to obey his Word, and to refuse to serve yourself any longer isn’t just holy, it’s healthy. The truly strong and successful girl is the one who has nothing to prove to anyone but God. She is the one who has said no to all the world has to offer and yes to all that the heaven holds and even demands.
When God shows you something that’s got to go, be quick to get rid of it. Don’t whine about how much you’ll miss it, don’t wonder if it’s really God asking you to give it up, just give it up with the belief that a heart turned over completely to him is a happy heart. And your faith will be rewarded, guaranteed!”
God definitely reassured me that this is His plan for me and to not worry and fear about giving everything up for Him. Yes I’m going to miss my family and friends while I’m gone but being God’s hands and feet in 5 different countries is totally going to make up for all of that! Spreading the good news and God’s Word will be so rewarding and life changing. Getting to know people from different counties and teach to them about our Father will be worth it. Becoming more like Christ every day is something that I need to keep in mind every hour of each day. We all have a purpose that God has given us and my purpose for those 9 months is to shine God’s light to everyone. So that’s what I’m going to do.
“You will be his witness and will tell everyone what you have seen and heard” Acts 22:15
