Surface level. A constant state we all live in, and a place that I don’t want to camp out in. My last few blogs have been a little surface level and I wanna go deeper. Of course, I can’t be deep all the time. I don’t want to scare newcomers away, BUT I am also a deep person. Why stay at the surface where its safe when you can venture out into deeper waters? I want to talk about the things most people don’t want to talk about. Ok, here goes:
I struggle with gluttony.
And guess what? Lots of people do too. We live in a society where we can drive down a road and pass by five fast food restaurants. We can pick and choose what we want when we want. We gorge and indulge, and I have fallen prey to societies ways by giving in. We give in to our belief of entitlement to food – thinking I have a right to what I put in my body. Now not all people who are “large” struggle with this. People who are “small” or “skinny” struggle with this too. Because being a glutton doesn’t necessarily mean you’re fat. It’s more of an inward problem; a heart issue. If you’re not taking care of the body the Lord gave you, you aren’t trying eating it as a temple he dwells in. To continuously put toxic and unhealthy things into it SHOWS that we disrespect the body he has given us. The sad thing is that most people don’t realize they’re doing this. The sin of gluttony has been overshadowed and rarely talked about in the church. But it’s rampant everywhere because we focus on finding comfort and finding it now.
Food is a comfort for me. When I’m upset, I eat. When I’m uncomfortable, I eat. And a common plague is boredom eating. I’m not actually hungry, I’m just bored and so I think I’m hungry when I’m not. Food has had a huge foothold in my life and I never realized it until now. My squad leader, the lovely Aubrey Webster, is a health professional and about three months ago she gave a talk on gluttony, and it seriously changed my perspective on what it actually is. How people never talk about it, and how it’s so accepted that it doesn’t even seem an issue. It hasn’t been until recently that Aubrey’s talk really hit me.
The Lord has been doing this really cool thing where he’s really just clearing all the gunk and yuck out of my life to make more room for him to move into my heart and soul. And this is one of the things he’s brought up. Am I uncomfortable? Oh yes. Weight is such a sensitive subject these days and sometimes still is to me. I’m going to be real honest, I’m not the smallest carrot in the bundle. But the Lord still loves me the same and he loves me too much to keep me where I’m at. The point isn’t for me to be skinny, it’s for me to be healthy. To take care of my body.
Let me ask you a question Aubrey asked my squad mates and I. Do you workout because you love your body, or hate your body? Do you eat good because you treat your body as a temple, or because you want to look a certain way? (She didn’t ask this last question but something to ponder on)
Whoa. Heart check. Am I trying to take care and treasure what God has given me and steward it well? Or do I not care what goes in my body and how I treat it? Do I love how God made me, or am I disgusted with the image looking back at me in the mirror? I believe this is something a majority of us struggle with. Men and women alike. God loved us enough to make us in his own image. He loves you whether you think you’re too fat or too skinny or whatever it is. Working out more or not eating doesn’t fix it. Not caring and eating whatever you want whenever you want doesn’t fix it. You will only ever be content in the Lord. You wanna love the person staring back at you in the mirror? Ask Jesus to let him show you what he sees when he looks at you. Because I promise you it’s a whole lot different then what you think.
This sin of gluttony in my life isn’t a small one. It’s big. But no sin or struggle is too big for God to handle or take care of and forgive. He takes what’s bad and turns it to good. Now, will this be a battle? Yes. Will I still struggle and mess up and make mistakes? Oh, absolutely. Will I step over the boundaries the Lord asks me to set? For sure. Thank God though for his grace and patience towards my mistakes and slip ups. Gluttony is a sin, and I shouldn’t take it lightly. Neither should you. It may make you uncomfortable. It may not feel good and strip you of something you run to. It has for me, but Jesus is worth it. So worth it.
Thanks for the read. See you home peeps soon. Much love.
-Kyla Cal
