3:00am. I look at the clock and feel irritated as I realize I had been tossing and turning for quite some time before finally convincing myself to see what time it is. My body seems to think we are still in Europe and I can’t lie and say that part of me doesn’t wish I were still there. There’s an age-old saying that “home is where the heart is” and I actually believe it. Home for me has always been Europe. I can’t even recall what age I started to know that I would one day live there long-term, but it has been deeply embedded in my mind for years. Texas has always been a holding place for me.
Reluctantly, I chose to go to the lobby of the hotel and eat breakfast, after realizing that I was not going to fall back asleep any time soon. As I sat down with my breakfast, I looked up to see what the commotion was about on the TV. CNN was broadcasting on all the TVs and, of course, discussing the topic of Black Friday. An interview with the CEO of Macy’s stated that this day is the biggest in sales for the store, ringing in $83 BILLION dollars.
$83,000,000,000. Wow.
Shortly after the interview, they changed their attention to a story on a brawl at Wal-Mart. Two men got in an all-out fight, on the floor, throwing punches and ripping at each other’s shirts. I didn’t even see an item in either hand nor did I hear what they were fighting over. All I could feel was utter disgust for my home country and the people here. “What in the hell is worth getting in a brawl over?” “People complain about being broke all the time but JUST at Macy’s, Americans spent 83 billion dollars?!” “I am willing to bet that at least 80% or more of the money spent today is made on credit cards… Not even with money people have in their bank accounts.” These are only some of the things that ran through my mind. DISGUST.
I knew way before returning home that I was going to hate returning at this time of year. Not necessarily because of the overwhelming choices at the grocery store or because of the people who may not understand everything I have seen and been through this year. But because of the absolute obsession with material things and consumption that defines American culture. I noticed my mind quickly reverting back to this mindset, and I was angry with myself. Honestly, I am ashamed that I have to claim this place as my home when it comes to things like this. What goes through the minds of people all over the world when they see these things on the news? When they see grown men beating the crap out of each other because there is a limited number of some stupid item at the store?! Is it worth getting a black eye and explaining to your wife, kids or co-workers how you got it?!
As if we don’t already have enough things… People go shopping at insane hours of the night to “save money” while spending hundreds of dollars! Not only have we absolutely lost the reason behind Thanksgiving and Christmas, and most other holidays we “celebrate”… We waste our wealth, power and influence to fill our homes, closets, and driveways with things that DON’T MATTER!
Thanksgiving in many households is centered around a feast of food, the football game, naps, leftovers and shopping ads. Are we actually celebrating true thankfulness anymore? Yes, there are families around the world who do, but I am talking about the majority. At Christmas, are we really celebrating the fact that God sent Jesus to us so that all humanity could be saved from eternal death? Because most of what is seen is the consumption of obscene amounts of sweets, debt, decorations and Santa Claus. The majority of people who celebrate these holidays don’t understand exactly what they represent outside of what they have been made into.
“Welcome home” is over-rated. Welcome back to the country obsessed with consumption and selfishness. Welcome to the place that consumes 100 acres of pizza per day and has the highest rate of obesity in the world. Welcome to the land of thousands of disorders, illnesses, ailments, and diseases that can mostly be traced to the chemicals that infect our food.
Just a few days ago, I was in Hungary, almost in tears as I walked through the city because of the gladness it brought to my heart. Not only are the buildings and people of Budapest beautiful, there was a warmth and cheer in the atmosphere that made me feel at home. Being gone for 11 months is long enough to completely change what you recognize as your reality. I long forgot what it was like to live in one constant place, have to be at work 8 hours a day, drive a car, and pay bills. My body and mind were so adjusted to packing up and moving every 3-4 weeks, leaving the people I had come to know and love, and change scenery. I almost forgot what US Dollars looked like, and what it was like to spend them. My mind was immersed and acclimated to the life abroad. As I return home I am reminded that everyone can understand what I say, prices no longer have to be divided and converted, and the people I love are no longer separated by the Atlantic Ocean. I never imagined that returning to the country I spent 28 years in would be more of a culture-shock than traveling across the world.
I love the people that are in my life and I am grateful for the ability to hug their necks and laugh with them again in person, especially since I will leave again in 6 short weeks to embark on a new journey in Spain. If it weren’t for the fact that I may not be back for awhile, I would have stayed overseas. I am thankful for many things, but today, I am utterly disgusted with America.
