Luke 14: 25-33 (New Century Version)
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me but loves his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters – or even life – more than me, he cannot be my follower. Whoever is not willing to carry his cross and follow me cannot be my follower. If you want to build a tower, you first sit down and decide how much it will cost, to see if you have enough money to finish the job. If you don’t you might lay the foundation, but you would not be able to finish. Then all who would see it would make fun of you, saying, ‘This person began to build but was not able to finish.’ If a king is going to fight another king, first he will sit down and plan. He will decide if he and his ten thousand soldiers can defeat the other king who has ten thousand soldiers can defeat the other king who has twenty-thousand soldiers. If he can’t, then while the other king is still far away, he will send some people to speak to him and ask for peace. In the same way, you must give up everything you have to be my follower.”
We must count the cost before we decide to give our life to God. We can never know 100% up front what it requires physically and emotionally but we have to be willing to give Him everything, no matter what. We cannot be His disciples if we want to hold on to any part of what we have. It requires total release and surrender. This doesn’t happen all at once, but gradually as we let go piece by piece and allow Him to take away things and replace them with His love and contentment.
It is hard. I have had times when it hurt too bad and I just wanted to give up. I believed the lie that I was incapable of letting go or trusting God completely and that is partially true. In my own strength, I am weak and incapable of total surrender. But because His Spirit resides in me, I am able to endure the pain of refinement that brings growth, renewal and transformation!
During my month in Da Nang, Vietnam, I was hit with this realization. When I officially surrendered my life to Christ 3 years ago and started to walk with Him, I had no earthly idea what it truly meant to leave everything I have to be His disciple. I was so desperate for change and I was ready to do whatever it took. Of course I have grown and surrendered things to Him throughout those years, but last month a whole new perspective was brought to light.
In American culture, individualism and independence are common factors of existence. Work hard, go to school, get a good job, make good money, buy a nice car and house and save well for your retirement. These are all good practices and we should absolutely be good stewards of the gifts, abilities and material blessings we receive. However, the Lord revealed to me that I had taken that to a whole different level. Through my life, many things have happened to cause me to become more independent and less trusting in others to take care of me, keep me safe, and provide for me. This absolutely translated into my relationship with God as He asked me to trust Him with my life. It wasn’t until last month that I became vividly aware of my distrust and doubt in Him as my Provider, especially in the form of finances.
Preparing to come on the World Race became so stressful for me. “I have to raise over $16,000 for this trip AND then buy plane tickets and equipment?! Lord, that is close to $20,000 then I still need something to have as a cushion for returning to normal life afterwards!” This was what ran through my head as I realized the weight of my decision to come on this trip. However, He assured me several times that hundreds of people have done this same trip and that His supply is unlimited for every single person on the planet. He promised that He would provide and gave me peace that this is the path I was supposed to take for the next part of my life.
When I first began fundraising, people would give me cash and checks made out to me. I would go to church on Sunday or see people throughout the week and they would just give me money. It blew my mind that they didn’t want tax credit for their donations. This was a huge blessing because it helped me to buy all the equipment I needed to come on the field as well as my transportation to training camp and launch. Even still, I had money left over in my bank account that I decided I would leave in savings, and if I ever came up short on a deadline I could supplement with that money, and whatever was left in December when my trip was complete, I would have to live on.
Again, financial stewardship and smart planning are not bad things. But it was in Vietnam that the Lord showed me that my heart motivation was out of place. I had convinced myself that I was doing what was right with the money by the world’s standards. I was being smart and making sure that I would not be left with nothing upon arriving back in America. The truth was that my decision to keep this money safely in my savings account was a form of control. By having that money securely in the bank where I could see it and assure that no one would do anything with it, I was depending on myself and controlling my future. This does not apply to every person, but through a series of events through my life, this was one of the many ways control had manifested in my heart.
The Lord told me that in order to fully trust Him and go to the next level of faith in Him, I needed to surrender that nice chunk of change to my ministry account for the World Race. This terrified me because once money goes into that account for the trip, it cannot be retrieved. The anxiety and fear that rose up in my heart was a clear indicator of my stronghold of control. As soon as that money was in my account, I was full of peace. I knew I had done the right thing and been obedient to His instruction.
This all ties back to the passage from Luke 14. He says that if we love our family, our friends, our material possessions, or even life itself more than Him, we cannot be His follower. Coming on the World Race really put this to the test for me. I literally gave up almost all of my belongings in garage sales, sold my car, forfeited my comforts at home, said goodbye to my family and friends, and came to the other side of the world with 2 backpacks. Emotionally, I gave up my healthy friendships, my mentors, and the relationships that brought me so much life, love and joy. I had to start all over with a group of people I barely knew and trust the Lord in me and in them to bring about growth and change. Many people supported my decision to come on the World Race and understood the value of something like this to really grow in a relationship with the Lord. However, several opposed this decision. Whether they thought it wasn’t the right time for me or just thought the whole idea was crazy, their opposition caused me to question my ability to hear Him and His request for me to come.
Luke 14 is the perfect reminder for us when we face opposition from people with worldly mindsets. When we truly surrender our lives to become His followers, we are saying that we trust Him to give us every single thing that we need in order to carry out His will and have the life He intends for us. We must leave everything we know behind so that we can walk with Him and learn to become more like Him in our actions, attitudes, and every day tasks. If we hold on to control, comfort, power, and significance in things such as money, nice cars, job titles, the opinions of others, air conditioning, mattresses and good home cookin’ then we will absolutely miss out on what He has for us! He doesn’t call every person to sell their possessions and travel the world with a backpack. He doesn’t call every person to move to a foreign country and adapt to a new culture. He doesn’t call every person to have a successful business that brings in a lot of money to donate out to Kingdom work. However, He calls every single one of us to give up our selfish desires and submit them to Him. He calls every one of us to carry our own cross as we learn how to find strength in Him as He helps us to walk through letting go of all of our junk. He calls every single one of us to trust Him because He can see all things and we only get one piece of the puzzle at a time.
We can keep all of our things and die empty or we can give them all up to gain eternal life and true purpose.
All we have to do is count the cost.
What will your decision be?
