At our last debrief it was brought to our attention that
there comes a point in every World Racer’s eleven months when changes may
occur. Now, this may seem obvious-we’re on this trip to see change-however the
type of changes being alluded to weren’t exactly what we all had in mind.
After three months of opening up, building relationship,
struggling, and growing together with my team, the words: “POSSIBLE TEAM
CHANGES” made my insides churn. We have arrived to the part in the World Race story
where the reigns are loosened a little and people are provided new
opportunities as the roles of logistics, squad leader, team leader, and
teammates get shuffled around. Jake and Allison head home to the States, and G
Squad will take its first baby steps as an internally operated body. Terrifying
right?
So, I started this month with a sort of looming sense that
the end of Transformers as I know it was approaching fast. Now, there are
various contributing factors to that thought that I will not get into right
now, but the fear of “losing” my team was ever-present. With expectations of
“one last hoorah” with my Transformers, I embarked on a month in Uganda.
That’ll teach me to have expectations…
We are working with Hephzibah (the all women’s team) this
month and upon arrival to Gulu, learned that we would need a guy at each
location. All my expectations came to a screeching halt as I realized the
implications of this information. Transformer dudes being divided = whole team
being divided = no more “one last hoorah” = PANIC ATTACK IN MY BRAIN!!!!!
Translation: my mind went crazy for a moment. Not only was my “worst nightmare”
of my team being divided happening, it was happening WAY sooner than anything I
had predetermined as a possibility in my mind. (Funny how that works.)
So a quick meeting ensued between Jess, Allison, and I and
we determined what the swap would be. Transformers sent our beloved Dan and
Helen to the North and received Hephzibah’s dear Sharon and Audrey in return.
And with a heavy sigh we went our separate ways…
Well, here I sit at Day 5 of our teams being switched about,
and we are all still alive. Surprising right? (The correct response is
“nope”…and here’s why…) God is a genius. Leave it to him to take my “biggest
fear” and put it into play at a totally unexpected time. Of course he’s going
to “blindside” us! That’s exactly when we learn the most. If I always had time
to prepare for the challenges ahead of me I would either: A) start relying on
myself or B) never learn anything at all. I’ve visited both those mindsets in
the past and am not interested in going back.
And now for an inconclusive conclusion. I don’t know what’s
going to happen at the end of the month, and I’d be lying if I said it’s not on
my mind. What I do know is that I don’t need to know. God has done an excellent
job of taking care of me thus far, and I have no reason to believe he won’t
continue to down the line. He’s a good Daddy who answers our prayers, even when
we don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into. Who knew this is what I was
asking for when I requested a challenge this month?
Oh God, you get me every time.
