Honestly, I don't like having facebook. Don't get me wrong I mean it's great for setting up events, chatting with friends, and getting in touch with people you haven't heard from for a while. And it's also great for seeing how everyone is doing, but that is where the problem comes in.
Plain and simple, I'm VERY competitive. I may not show it, but truthfully whether it's a sport, board game, or some other activity; I enjoy winning. When my buddy Shane McNamara and I started bboying, as time went on some of my motivation came from wanting to be better than him. I wanted to burn him in a battle. (If you are reading this Shane prepare yourself for the future).
Unfortunately though my competitiveness goes a little too far. Call it a character flaw if you will. What I mean is I tend to get competitive in life situations as well. Still confused? Let me give you an example to further explain how annoying and childish this actually is.
So right now I'm support raising for the World Race. And I have teammates on the World Race (awesome, totally tubular, Godly teammates who want to serve our Lord and Savior) who are support raising as well. Honestly support raising isn't going very well. Problem; lack of diligence on my part, but that is a topic for another blog. ANYWAY, support raising is not going very well, and this is where the why I don't like bookface comes into play.
When my teammates get a huge donation then post it on facebook; it kinda urks me. I know how bad I'm doing, then I see how good they are doing. So my competitive side kicks in and I want to work hard. But in that moment of urkiness jealousy comes about as well as hard work. AND THAT'S NOT GOOD, because then I begin to compare myself to my teammates, and when I compare myself to my teammates, I think I'm entitled to get donations for the World race, and when I have entitlement, I become lazy.
I've come to the conclusion that jealousy and entitlement go hand in hand. Being jealous makes a person feel like they are entitled to something, having a sense of entitlement makes a person jealous. The truth is though we as stupid, sinful humans do NOT deserve anything. WE ARE NOT ENTITLED TO ANYTHING. WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE JEALOUS. Honestly God is the only one who can jealous. So this sense of entitlement/jealousy I have is really just meaningless. More than that this competitiveness I have is wrongly directed. Why should I be competitive with my teammates?
Yesterday the pastor at the church I attend gave a sermon on a conversation between Jesus and John. Trust me it pertains to this. Mark 9: 38-40 says: "Teacher, said John, "we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us." ," Jesus said, "No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us." So John and the disciples saw a guy driving out demons in Jesus' name. They go over and are like, "hey you can't do that because you are not part of our group." Then John goes and tells Jesus, "we stopped a guy from driving out demons in your name since he was not part of our cool group." Then Jesus is like,"you dingbat why'd you do that? He's on the same team." So the problem was John and the other disciples were a little jealous and competitive to this guy who is helping people IN JESUS' NAME. Their competitiveness was directed at the wrong person.
So, here's the situation again. Support raising isn't going well for me, but my other teammates on the World Race are gaining the support they need. They go and post it on facebook, I get jealous and want them to stop posting that stuff. Why is it that they are posting about the support they are raising though? THEY ARE PRAISING GOD!!!
There is nothing wrong with my teammates sharing on facebook about how God is providing for them. That's the whole point. I'm just letting my competitiveness get the best of me. Why should I be jealous and competitive with the people who I am to spend a year with in random countries wanting to serve God? The reason behind praising and worship to God is to give glory to God, because he deserves it. Posting about how God is bringing in money for the WorldRace is definitely praise!
So friends please, please, please keep working hard with you support raising. And please, please, please keep posting about how God is providing for you. We are here to serve him and bring him more glory!
