Surrender.
{To give up, or hand over.}
This is the dictionary definitions to the word “Surrender”,
but I like to refer to it as:
[not giving up the fight,
but letting someone else fight
for you.]
Someone more powerful,
that knows a lot more,
and someone that is guaranteed to win.
If you know me,
than you know that I hate to lose.
I hate to lose at anything;
new games
old games
boring games
games I don’t even like,
if I’m playing it then I try my hardest not
to lose, and I will do anything
not to give up.
For this reason
I don’t like to use the word surrender very often.
Up until the beginning of this month I didn’t really
realize what the word meant.
In my mind it meant waving my white flag
and calling it quits.
It meant that I had been defeated.
And in the spiritual sense of the word,
surrender meant that either satan won
or that I was giving up control and couldn’t fight
for myself.
I know that’s not at all what it means,
but in my mind thats how I viewed it.
So today we were having a prayer meeting,
and in it they talked on John 17 and how
Jesus intercedes for us.
And it hit me,
My surrender doesn’t mean that I’m not still fighting,
it just means that I am fighting along side of Jesus.
That by me saying “I surrender”
I’m not saying I am weak and I give up,
it’s just saying that I need someone stronger
to take the lead.
It is saying
“Jesus I want you,
I am begging you, to intercede for me!
Jesus I can’t take on this mountain by myself,
but I know you can,
so I need you to fight for me, and with me.”
At the beginning of the month my team and
I pick a word that we want the month to reflect.
This month my first thought was “fight“
because I have felt like ever since we got to Cambodia
I have been fighting.
But then God asked me what the other side of fight is,
obviously I said “victory” but that wasn’t the word He wanted.
Then he asked “no the opposite of fight”,
then I got it “surrender“.
So my word for this month is surrender.
I am choosing not to give up,
but to surrender and let you battle this with me God.
I need YOU to help me,
because here I am 50 days from hitting America,
and 56 days from the start of the rest of my life,
and I can’t go at it alone.
God I need you, I want you, to
fight off all the attacks and all the
hits I take because I have tried on my own
and I fail every time.
The verse that I have been standing on
most of the race is
Exodus 14:14
“The Lord your God will fight for you,
you need only to be still.”
It’s now my time to be still
and let Him fight.
Oh and I have arrived in Cambodia. We are working with a ministry called “Children at Risk” we start on sunday doing skits and songs and teaching english and really doing anything we can with the children of the slums! It’s going to be amazing and I’m excited! 🙂
