A week after my encounter with the Lord, I surpassed my drink limit of two and got drunk. The next day, the conviction I felt from the Lord far exceeded the terrible hangover I was dealing with. It almost felt as if I was being ripped and torn a part. Needless to say, I hated the way I felt and swore to Jesus that I would never drink or smoke a cigarette again.Today I can joyfully say that I’m 95 days cigarette and alcohol free! Hallelujah the Lord has completely freed me from all of this!
I’m still in the beginning stages of my walk with Jesus and I know there is a lot of healing from my past that has to take place. When I interviewed with The World Race, I was completely honest with them and told them about my past addictions and struggles. When the Lord opened up the door for me to go, one of the pre-requisites was to attend bi-weekly Celebrate Recovery meetings, which is a Christian 12 Step Recovery program. Of course I was totally on board with it and I completely understood why! However, there’s a battle that we as Christians fight on a daily basis. The few days following my date of acceptance to the World Race, the “How’s, Why’s, Who’s, Where’s and What’s” began to pop up in my mind and consume my thoughts. I began to fight the idea of going in part because:
1. I’m currently a Flight Attendant based in Chicago, living in Wisconsin but from Charlotte, NC. I work for a charter airline and our schedules have a tendency to be scattered which could make it difficult to commit to bi-weekly recovery meetings.
2. My desire was to spend the next nine months before the race with my family back home in Charlotte. If the Lord led me to a recovery program, I would have to stay there and I REALLY REALLY wanted it to be in Charlotte. I asked my company for a transfer and when that door was closed I turned to applying for a job. The Lord closed that door too.
3. I didn’t want to just pick any place and walk into it because I firmly believe in a relationship with Jesus where I’m led by Him and only Him. I spent a lot of time in prayer about where He wants me to go to Celebrate Recovery and I didn’t feel or hear anything from Him. Because of this, I struggled to figure out where I was supposed to go next. I failed to realize the reasoning behind why the Lord was closing all sorts of doors for me and it was because He was trying to teach me a very very important lesson.
On the night of March 20th, I was with hanging with Him and He spoke to me. He said:
Today is the day. The hour has come. You must be brave and put on the whole armor of God and fight the good fight of Faith. Allow yourself to be clothed in righteousness and be cleansed of any unseen bondage. For anything that is held in bondage is robbing the Lord His rightful place in your heart. You must allow Him to take the golden key to unlock the red door that leads to a path of destruction. For that burden is only released and unlocked by the golden key which is holy and leads to the golden door. Be set free in Jesus’ name.
***This is not a scriptural verse but after this was spoken to me, I located where He talks about the Golden Key. Please see Matthew 16:18-19. Clothed in righteousness – Isaiah 61:10-12 and the Whole Armor of God- Ephesians 6:10.
Nine days later I still hadn’t heard anything from Him about where He wants me to spend the next nine months preparing for this mission and to attend bi-weekly recovery meetings. That night I felt in my heart I was supposed to read from the book of Job. I opened the first page and Job 1:20 was the very first scripture I read which is:
“Then Job arose and tore down his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshipped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:20
I read the beginning of the first chapter of Job and God allowed Satan to test Job. He took everything away from Him and yet, Job still humbled himself before the Lord and worshipped Him. As I was reading all of this, I was inspired by the copious amount of faith that Job displayed during his time of trial. Again, I failed to realize all that the Lord was trying to teach me.
On April 1st, I spent the day fasting to fight off the “What if’s, what’s and how’s.” That day, I felt Him telling me – “You can’t love your family more than you love me” and “You must lose all of your desires so I can lead you to where I want you to go.” That night I took the golden key and unlocked the golden door and decided to walk this season out in faith. Since then I’ve had an overwhelming amount of peace from the Lord and a much greater confidence in Him. All glory be to God!
P.S. I went to my first Celebrate Recovery meeting last night and it was AMAZING! ??
Be blessed in Jesus’ name! I love you guys!!!
Krystina
