Is there a place for both introverts and extroverts in the Kingdom of God? Of course, but it doesn’t always feel like it. When I met my squad at Training Camp, I was overwhelmed. Thirty-two strangers came together and it seemed like they were all extroverts except for a select few. There were so many people taking charge, dominating conversations, and thriving in an environment where alone time is non-existent.
Introverts are not necessarily shy by nature. I have never been shy or afraid to speak my mind. I love spending time with people, but it drains me. Quality time, while enjoyable, does not bring me energy or fill me up like it would an extrovert. At Training Camp, you truly never get a second to yourself unless you are in a port-a-potty or asleep in your tent. You are constantly engaging with your squad, leadership, or other racers. Needless to say, I was drained by day three.
When I hit my “introvert wall” I started to panic. There was no space for me to sit by myself and recharge. Everyone around me wanted to talk nonstop and even hug on me, when all I wanted to do was run away. I started to feel like I didn’t fit in the mold of a World Racer. I wasn’t sure I was cut out for it. How could I bring life to these people when I had no life in me to give?
Just when I felt I had nothing left to give, a squadmate filled me up again. A squadmate of mine noticed that I had kind of shut down and fell into an apathetic attitude. She saw me when I felt like I was invisible in the crowd, so she spoke life over me.
“You don’t have to be the biggest voice in the crowd. Your voice carries weight and significance this way. You encourage people in the way you follow and support them. You love people well in one on one conversation, forcing them to dig deeper and take off their masks. It is okay that you’re tired, that just makes every moment you choose to love people more meaningful. You are valued and needed here. Keep pushing against the voice that is telling you to retreat. You don’t have a choice to be anywhere but all here.”
You better bet tears were shed. The Lord was speaking through this girl I have known for four days. She saw me as an image bearer of God and understood my role, even though I couldn’t. God used her to fill me with purpose and ownership of the personality he gave me. The Lord taught me to not get lost in the sea of extroverts, but to fill my role as an introvert. Trying to be an extrovert for that long was like hiking in shoes that are a size too small. Finally, I stepped into these new shoes and they fit really well.
This doesn’t mean that Training Camp was a breeze. My squadmates could usually find me in a port-a-potty during breaks just catching my breath and sitting in silence for a moment. Regardless, He used a squadmate to teach me something in the quiet moments of a worship service. He continues to teach me how to fill this role for his glory, not attempting to be someone I am not. God created both personality types for His glory. There is, in fact, room for the both of us in the Kingdom.
