Month One of the World Race is really a whirl wind. Your life flips on its head overnight. You’re expected to jump head first into ministry while figuring out which way is up in a new country. They often say the Race is a pressure cooker for growth. It is the perfect environment to search the rooms of your heart, exposing faults, triggers, insecurities and handing them over to Jesus. When I left the US, I was expectant and genuinely ready for my heart to transform. Now, on the other side of the first of eleven months, I would love to share with you what my God did in my heart.
I was placed on a team of six women that like to call each other Daughters of Eduth (Testimony) or Team DOE. Story is really important to us, so naturally we shared our testimonies in the first month on the field. Sharing your story walks practical strangers through deep hurt, bad decisions, but ultimate victory. Typically I don’t have any issue sharing. I am proud of what I walked through because it brings glory to the God that delivered me. But, gosh, I was anxious all month knowing these girls could see my scars. They picked at things that triggered me and called me higher. They challenged me to learn what it was like to walk in freedom.
But, hold up. I thought I have been walking in freedom from these things for years now. Why am I still affected by them? Turns out, these past experiences have been chained to my ankle for a really long time. And, y’all, I’m getting tired of dragging them around. Sick and tired of it. They are slowing me down from chasing after Jesus.
How can I walk in freedom? I am learning that is a process. All these years, I have been declaring freedom over myself. If you’ve seen The Office, imagine Michael running around saying “I declare bankruptcy!!” That was me in my heart. I ran around saying “I declare freedom!” and expected an immediate change.
In reality, some things require time and they can still sting years later. We are continually healing from different facets of deep wounds in our past and that is not wrong. Let me say it again for y’all in the back, that is not wrong. You are not wrong for hurting. But Jesus did give you a key to unlock the ball and chain around your ankle. When you choose to unlock it and really walk into freedom, that ankle is going to be sore. It may have cuts where the shackle was too tight. It will be uncomfortable, but wait for it. Start to walk, or even crawl toward Jesus and you will find it easier to stand. Soon enough, you’ll be able to run. You’ll be free to sprint towards Jesus and pull others up along the way.
At the end of this month, I had the privilege of painting scripture inside of our converted storage box car. In the guest room, I painted the verse John 8:36 in French, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Take the key from him. Unlock your chains. Be free indeed.
