Today, I found out some news that I was expecting, but still there was no way in my life that I would have ever been totally prepared for. A man I loved for many years went to be with Jesus forever today.
Death is real. Death from this life is a reality that I have lived a lot this year, but watching the man who I spent much of my life dreaming of being like was called from this life to the next one is easily one of the hardest emotions in the world to feel.
And then, imagine yourself 5000 miles from home, in another country, realizing that you won’t get to hug that family you wish you could hug today for 10.5 more months. You don’t get the chance to see the reality: to see that he passed from this body to the next one. You are learning to grieve with the 57 people who are so quickly becoming your family, the ones who will never have a chance on this side of eternity to meet a man that many would call a hero, an amazing family man, and the one who pursued his dreams with everything inside of him.
I watched him succeed when people told him he would fail. I watched him beat the odds more than once. I watched him love his family in way that most families only dream of. I watched him take me fishing, teach me to laugh, and how to be a Ramsey that would make the family name proud. I watched him teach me more about Jesus without saying a word than most people ever had the chance to experience. I had the privilege of looking like him, and knowing that everything we did made him proud. That man was proud of his family, but more than that, he was proud of his Jesus and his faith in the man who rescued his soul.
He told me to pursue my dreams, to make the life I wanted for myself, and to fall in love. He told me to stand in the face of the odds around you. He told me to tell my fear who my God was, instead of the other way around. And he lived that out.
Marriage was a privilege, he would tell me. Marriage was something that you had to work for, but the very thing that would help you get through on the hard days. His love for his wife was evident to all. He was reunited with his wife today. And they probably danced. What I (and so many others) would do to have witnessed that dance. Our conversation about marriage is one that has stuck with me through many days of my life.
That man loved his family, unconditionally, 100%. It didn’t matter who exactly you were. I watched him love parts of my family that so many others had written off. He accepted the people in the family that didn’t go the traditional way. He loved all the kids in the same way I watch my dad love them. The kids always gravitated to him. I have always loved him and never knew a day of my life when I thought otherwise. And he loved me, and I knew that there was nothing that would ever change that. He reminded me often of how much he loved me. Even though we are now living on two different sides of eternity, I know he loves me.
There are very few people who I would write the next sentence about, but my Uncle Dennis lived this every single day.
Uncle Dennis loved me like Jesus does.
As I was browsing Facebook, I can’t begin to tell you just how many people posted about how much of an incredible human he was. To watch my family grieve from 5000 miles away is hard. But to know that we grieve has people who have hope makes a hard day away easier.
We aren’t saying goodbye. We are simply saying see you later. We will meet on the other side of eternity. He was welcomed into the arms of Jesus with words that I imagine mirror what scripture tells us: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” And then I imagine he hugged his wife and danced with her, hugged his mom and dad, and so many members of his family that he said goodbye to years before. The Ramsey family reunion in heaven is one that I can only dream of being a part of. And then, I imagine he, his brothers, and his dad went a spot on the dock, where he can see his family he left here, and started fishing. I wonder how the fish bite in heaven. I imagine their conversations going on and on, with periods of beautiful silence. I imagine they are bragging on who caught the biggest fish. I imagine they are talking about the family they left behind and just how proud they are. Again, what I would do to be there to share that moment.
I didn’t know that tears would fall so readily when I found out. The feeling of profound loss is hard. Knowing that I will never hug his neck on this side of eternity is even harder. But I know that heaven wanted him just as much as we do.
I’m processing. I’m working through the emotions of saying goodbye. I’m working through the idea that I am going to be okay on the other side of this, but also working through the idea that it is okay to not be okay.
I love you always, Uncle Dennis. Thank you for teaching me more about life and other people than I ever dreamed. Thank you for teaching me about Jesus, to always love other people, and to always make sure they know you love them. Save me a spot on that dock. I’m coming for you and we’re going fishing!
Please be praying for my family.
Thank you so much!
Kristy
