We sat in the café that is run by our ministry hosts here in Pattaya and I realized that I was looking at everything I had ever asked God for. Sex trafficking, teaching English, and working with people who are unable to be reached in their home country and giving them the Word in their native tongue; all of which have been a part of my heart for a long time, all of which I want to have in my future.
I started to ask God the question if Pattaya was the place that he was asking me to plant my life. I started to wonder if this place that I was quickly growing to love would be the place that I could plant my life long-term. I was wondering what it would look like to decide to move to Pattaya and start a life here. Thailand is beautiful; it is inexpensive to live here; the people are simply incredible. Long story short, I love Thailand.
Then, God answered the question I asked. In His gentle way, He told me I was looking at everything I ever wanted. But I have a question for you? Do you want everything I have for you or are you willing to settle for everything you want for yourself?
I remember being a small child and having my Dad not give me what I wanted in the moment, because He knew that there was something better. I also remember Him letting me get what I wanted in the moment and have to not get what I would want in the moments that followed.
I never had to ask my dad what I wanted out of life. I never had to look at my dad and explained my dreams to him. As I approach adulthood, I wanted nothing more than my dad to be proud of me. I am proud to be his kid; I think very highly of my dad and believe that he wants me to get everything I want out of life. He has always given me encouragement when I was down; somehow, across time zones and countries, his encouraging words were often what I needed to hear.
I decided that as much as I love Pattaya, I believe that Pattaya isn’t the long-term plan that God has for me. I truly believe that if I put my dreams on the table, HE will give me something bigger than I could ask or imagine. So here’s to putting my dream of Pattaya back on the table and saying words that will probably take me on the greatest journey I’ve taken thus far.
Jesus, have your way in my life. I just want to make you proud.
