Community…. it’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be.
Community was the one area I thought I could handle coming into the race.
Community was what broke me.
I’m not sure how I could have prepared for the emotional storm that came during my fourth month on the race (April). Struggles come, though. People came in with different backgrounds, values, personalities, and expectations. People are at different places in life, in struggles, in seasons, in their walk with God. Also, people aren’t perfect. Team dynamics aren’t always perfect, either.
(A brief reminder of the situation we are in: we are on this Race for 11 months. We are thrown together on a team of 5-7 strangers for an undetermined period of time. We spend 24/7 together: meals, ministry, team time, feedback, sleep, spiritual growth, friendships, etc. There is close to no such thing as true “alone time,” because one of our rules is the buddy system. Sometimes we think of it as an arranged marriage.)
Community is one of the biggest parts of this whole experience. I learned quickly that you can either embrace it or not. When you don’t, the “not” builds up into knots in your rope that become harder to untie as time goes on. We all pull and strain on one another, but bitterness can truly be the deciding factor, in a negative direction. And then comes the domino effect. Whether I liked it or not, I was knocked down along the way.
I took this picture on a bench in Estonia. It marks the point where deep sadness only scratches the surface of the hurt that swallowed me. Being on the World Race doesn’t excuse you from hurt or pain. It magnifies areas, if anything. The hurt was and still is a process to work through. Looking back, though, I still absolutely love the girls I was on a team with and have a crazy amount of fun memories to mark our time together. Our team also pushed me in ways that I wouldn’t have guessed (or necessarily wanted at the immediate time), but I know God was working in and through each of us and taking us through a different kind of growth process.
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Rounding the corner and coming into Month 5 (May), the entire squad transitioned into some changes – team changes. At this point in time, I would like to introduce you to my new and current team. We are known as Team Relentless!
My current focus is getting healthy again: physically, emotionally, spiritually. The Lord is directing me to really build my foundation more and solidify good habits. I’m so thankful for the wonderful teammates I have to work alongside in pursuing this season of life!
