“Training Camp is an intense 10-day experience where you and your teammates meet in Georgia to connect deeply with the Lord and each other. Through teaching, prayer, scenarios, and relationship building, you will step out of fear and shame and into intimacy with the Father. You’ll also receive training on how to partner with God to establish His Kingdom on Earth.
It’s designed to be challenging because we want to prepare you for the road ahead. We will put you in scenarios sure to stretch you, refine you, and bring you closer to Christ. You’ll end the week exhausted and smelly, but you’ll also leave with a newfound intimacy and confidence in the Lord. He will change your life at Training Camp…”
I copied this summary from the World Race website because I don’t think I could have summarized what training camp is any better than this. No worries though, I’ll tell you all about my experience. Just hang in there with me!
11:31pm Night 1:
“This is literally the worst. I feel all alone and I can’t sleep. I’m rethinking everything which is stupid because if I don’t go through with this then I’m going to hate myself and probably get really depressed because I wouldn’t know what else to do. But I really just want to pack up and go home. I keep telling myself to just make it through this night, but my brain won’t shut off.”
Bad grammar and all, these were the thoughts playing on a loop in my head. And this is the exact text message I sent to my best friend.
We all have those nights where we think that’s its the end of the world and it just can’t get any worse. For me this was one of those nights and all I wanted was a hug and an escape plan.
Arriving at training camp was nerve-racking yet filled with excitement. Finally I would meet my squad and this chapter of my life that had felt so distant was starting! I had forgotten the part where I still had to meet a bunch of strangers and even worse, they had to get to know me. I. Had. To. Be. Social. I had to be open, honest, vulnerable. I couldn’t just get away with standing quietly off to the side and laughing along with everyone else’s jokes and awkwardness.
So I make it through social hour and we move on to worship and the first session. Fantastic! Worship was on fire, the session was fulfilling and exciting! Now for bed. Talk about exciting. Bedtime is my favorite time! Plus, no more people! It was just me and my pillow curled up in my tent. So exciting!
But wait, I can’t fall asleep. Gosh its not even 10:00 yet. It’s so quiet. Just the sounds of nature. That’s nice though. I’ll just lay here, I’m sure I’ll fall asleep any minute now. *An eternity later* And now my brain (lets call it the devil) is wide awake and wants to talk to me. “Pssst. Kristi! Hey, this is really uncomfortable. The ground is hard and its hot out here. Remember your bed and how fluffy it is? Wait, what kind of bug is that!? Ugh. It’s okay. It’s outside the tent. Or is it? Man, can you believe we have 10 more days of this? Are you sure this is what you want to do for a year?” I think you get the picture. This continued for what seemed like forever. I finally couldn’t take anymore so I picked up my phone to text the only person I could think of not expecting any sort of response but someone to vent to.
It was only a few minutes before I got a response, but it wasn’t anything like I expected. It brought instant tears that resulted to me sitting in my tent quietly sobbing for an hour. The message may have been from my friend, but the words were straight from the Lord. He spoke directly into my heart and soul. It was a message that I will now carry with me throughout my race and probably through life.
You see, I wanted to pack up my tent and leave, but I knew that if I did I would end up hating myself and feel worthless. I knew deep down that this race is my purpose, but I was being challenged and didn’t like it. I knew that I was right where I was suppose to be but I didn’t know why. I wasn’t worthy of this kind of life. But my thoughts didn’t/don’t matter because God has this kind of life planned out exactly for me. Woah. That’s amazing but how do I accept something like that?
I spent the next day trying to understand and process that while also being present in that days activities. The day started out rough, but as it went on I started feeling better and growing a little more comfortable. As each day pasted the more comfortable and secure I felt. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was feeling this way at first, but by day 3 I understood exactly why this life was getting easier to live. It was simple: community.
I’ve spent my whole life living in my own mind. My goals, opinions, likes, dislikes, etc. If you want to know them then you’ve got to dig for it. Suddenly, though, I was surrounded by 18 people who not only went digging for my thoughts, but actually wanted to know them and more and more and more. Now I know that sounds intense – it was. It was also freeing, comforting, and encouraging.
The ending of the training camp summary said that the Lord will change your life at Training Camp, and that’s exactly what He did. It was a physically demanding, emotional roller coaster driven by Jesus. But in just 10 days God reminded me of my purpose in this chapter of my life, He gave me a whole community of people that I can trust, who encourage me, and I can be completely vulnerable with. He taught me different ways that I can spend time with Him. Best of all, He started a fire in my soul and I fell in love with Him all over again.
