What do you do when God doesn't answer your prayer?
Ok, wait … I'm sure I have a few super positive, super spiritual, super Christian readers who will say
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, KRISTINA? How dare you ask such a blasphemous question. God ALWAYS answers our prayers!
For those readers, let me rephrase … What do you do when God doesn't give you the answer that you want? When He says, NO …
NO, You can't pursue that relationship.
NO, You're not going to get the promotion.
NO, You are not "called" to be a professional singer.
There is a popular saying, 'Sometimes God says no, and sometimes He says not now'. I love that saying. It's so true! But, we tend to ignore the beginning of that saying and the fact that sometimes He IS SAYING NO; so when He does, we don't know how to handle it.
God recently told me no. He told me that I couldn't keep Kamille, and I just about lost it. For those of you who don't know, Kamille is was has been my dog for the past 2 years and 8 months. She's my adopted baby. She's one of the reasons why I left a job that kept me traveling on the road. She's my companion, my sweetie. For months, she's been the one thing that I have constantly prayed for and asked that others pray for as well. Whenever someone asks me how can they pray for me, the consistent answer was always "Pray that I found a temporary home for Kamille while I am gone for 11 months". For months now, I have trusted and believed with everything in me that it was going to happen. I've said on numerous occasions that giving her away is "not an option". I refused to even entertain the thought. I wasn't even anxious about how or when I found a home for her because I knew in my core that it was going to happen.
Now, I'm 15 days away from launch and I still haven't found a temporary home for her. I'm left with three options:
- Panic
- Continue praying and believing that my will be done
- Sit and listen to what God has to say
So, I decided to listen to wise counsel and what God had to say about the matter (after first attempting & realizing that the first two options weren't getting me anywhere). When it was all said and done, God told me no. I can't keep Kamille. She will find a great home, but it will not be the temporary – 11 month – fix that I was looking for. She will belong to a new family, a good family who will love her and care for her like she is theirs … because, quite frankly, she will be.
When I first heard this, I got upset. I cried. I started spewing off to Daddy ALL the things that I've given up for this mission trip, as if He wasn't already aware. I told him that Kamille was the ONE THING that I wasn't willing to give up and wondered why He would make me do that. It was a tough pill to swallow.
Then Dad asked me a question – (Side Note: Don't you just LOVE when God asks you questions. As if He doesn't already know the answers to them!) – So anyway, He asked me,
Did you count the cost before you said 'Yes'?
Luke 14:28-30 says "For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it – lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish'" … Verse 33 continues on to say "So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple"
I've laid the foundation. I've done a lot in preparation for The World Race. I've begun "building" this tower, but have I truly counted the cost to make sure that I'm able to finish and end well? I think that I've always known that there was a cost to being a disciple. It's also mentioned in Luke 9:57-62. But, I somehow convinced myself that my journey would be easier and that God would show me great favor by not allowing me to go through anything that I didn't really want to experience. Aren't I special?!
The reality is that we must be willing to forsake EVERYONE and EVERYTHING! That is the cost of discipleship. That is what we all must consider when choosing to be more than just a Christian, but a disciple, a dedicated follower of Jesus Christ. As difficult as it can and will be, it's a decision that we all have to make.
Thankfully, after presenting me with the hard truth, Dad immediately came back around and presented me with His loving truth as well. He reminded me, through the words of a squad mate, that I have not been cheated, but I have been chosen for such a time as this. Everyone is not able to do the things that God is asking me to do, but it's an honor that He has chosen me for.
This morning as I was spoiling Kamille, letting her lie in the bed with me, and rubbing her head & back, I began thinking about how much I am going to miss her. I started feeling sad, and although I didn't ask with my mouth, I'm sure that my heart was still wondering why I have to give her away. So, Abba Father began speaking to me, gently, again. This is what He says …
'I'm preparing you for greater things. Following me is not easy, I never said it would be. I am stronger than you know, my grace and strength will keep you through the tough times and help you make those difficult decisions. I love you with an everlasting love. I want only good things for you and am fully capable of giving you those good things. Lean on me. Abide in my love. Trust me, please … just trust me.'
Sometimes God gives us the answers to our prayers, and when He doesn't, He gives us grace and peace to handle the undesirable outcomes. So, my question to you is not whether or not you think God will ever tell you no; but WHEN He does say no, WILL YOU STILL SAY YES?
This is one of my absolute favorite songs. It has always spoken to me, but now it means so much more to me. Please take a few minutes to play it and allow it to speak to your heart as you decide for yourself whether or not you will tell God yes.
