"Never put off till tomorrow what can be done today" – Thomas Jefferson
That's sort of my motto. I'm always going, always moving, always doing. I have daily to-do lists and I get some sort of high by crossing items off. I feel accomplished and productive if I can cross every item off. I am anti-lazy and doing nothing (unless I'm sleeping) makes me feel uncomfortable.
My team has been fasting together for one day a week for the past few weeks. Every week I've fasted food and Facebook. Every week, unless I was intentionally praying or listening to a sermon, I spent my time working and staying busy to take my mind off of my hunger and to keep me from going to social media. Today was a day of fasting, but today I didn't feel the need to fast food or social media. Those things are definitely things that I partake in daily, but they don't really keep me from the heart of God. What has kept me from receiving a deeper understanding of God's heart towards me has been BUSYNESS. Even without having a job to go to, I've managed to stay busy in order to keep from being perceived as lazy.
I hate the question "So since you aren't working, what DO you do? How do you spend your days?" That question alone magnifies a societal issue – the belief that work equals success and productivity. That unless you're up and out taking life by the horns, life is passing you by. For as long as I can remember, I have operated under that same belief. I've operated under a lot of earthly truths that oppose what God says.
If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy!
The truth is, it's OK to rest from time to time. In fact, God tells us to rest in His commandment to "remember the Sabbath". I definitely still believe in hard work and laboring for the kingdom. The bible tells us that the harvest is plentiful but laborers are few, so we should even pray for more workers. But the bible also says that when we come to Jesus, He will give us rest. His yoke is easy to bear, and His burden is light. There is a balance, and until I find and live in that balance, I will never experience the fullness of who God is.
So today, I fasted from work. Every kind of work. The things that I absolutely needed to get done and the things that I just kind of wanted to do. I neglected to make a to-do list. I have laundry that needs to be washed, packing that needs to be completed, and cleaning that needs to be done. I leave for launch tomorrow, so there is a sense of urgency. Still, my Father asked me to rest. I didn't even blog when I wanted to because blogging was something that I needed to do because it's been a couple weeks since I last blogged. So until 6 pm today, I just sat. Instead of reading my bible, I laid on the sofa. Instead of turning on a sermon podcast, I listened for what God wanted to tell me.
As pleasant and delightful this may sound to some of you, it was such an awkward and uncomfortable place for me. Resting, really resting, is one of the most difficult things for me to do. But God showed me today that resting does not mean I'm lazy, it simply means that, in that moment, I'm choosing to let God minister to my heart and love on me the way that I deserve and desire. I'm letting Him take the lead while surrendering my agenda to Him. I'm allowing God to fill places in my heart that I have strived to fill on my own.
Everyone is different, and we all fall in different places on the resting spectrum. Some of you are always resting, afraid to move because of the risk involved or possibility of failure. Some of you are like me and are always on the go, always ready for the next task, but moving much quicker than God intended. We all need to find the perfect balance, right in the middle, in order to be complete in who God wants us to be and in order to enjoy the beautiful life that He died for us to live. This is something that will take time for me to get completely. It's something that I have to work at and will need to be reminded of over and over again. There will always be something to do, always. Even if you have spare time on your hands, there are some things that can and should be put off for later.
"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well" – Mark Twain
